As adults, most of the time, we either aim to parent just like our parents or be the exact opposite of them. My goal when having kids has always been to try to lift them up and have them always know I loved them more than anything.
Growing up we were taught not to show emotion or that you cared. Feelings were something you did not talk about. You were to always keep everything inside. My mother was never a warm and happy person. She was always mad and yelling about something. Love was not something you were shown. It was just assumed. There was never a time where my mother actually hugged me and acted like she cared for what I was doing. After a gymnastics meet, cheer competition, swim meet, etc I’d see other kids parents giving them hugs after and telling them how good they did. I never got told I did a good job or got a happy hug. I immediately got told what I did wrong or how someone else did something better than me. My mother pushed by intimidation. Her way to make me “do better” was to tell me how much better someone else was than me. She would often compare me to her friends children. Even as an adult she enjoys telling me how much better her friends children are doing than me. I work really hard to remind myself that each of my children are different. And they are different than other peoples children. So you really can’t compare one child to another. All you can do is encourage, support and help them grow in the best way for them individually.
I found an old diary from when I was little. I loved writing and I used to write everything down. In it I questioned why everyone else’s moms hugged them and were excited to see them every day but mine was always mad at me. In it I asked why my mom didn’t love me and I didn’t understand what I did wrong. I even wrote “I’ll do better. I’ll be perfect and maybe she will love me.” I was in fourth grade when I wrote this. To this day as a 37 year old, I still have never heard my mother tell me she loves me. That’s a feeling I never want my children to ever have. I never want my love for them to be questioned. I want them to wake up every morning knowing I love them more than anything in the world and go to bed knowing that same thing.
It’s taken me quite a few years, but I’ve learned it’s ok to let your kids have and talk about their feelings. It doesn’t make them weak. It actually makes them stronger and more self aware. Constant threatening or belittling causes more damage than good. It instills a constant fear in the child which can cause anxiety to roll over in other life situations. I’ve also learned the strength in words. Telling your kids you love them and are proud of their victories and even their failures, will have such a positive impact on how they view themselves and their ability to try again at something in the future.
I’ve been MIA from my blog for a while. Life sort of took the reigns on its own and went 100 miles a minute! With young kids I’m just doing my best to make sure everyone is on time and fully clothed these days!
A lot has changed in the last year. One of which is me making the decision to renew my teaching license. Will I go back? Maybe, maybe not. But I want the option to still be there.
I loved teaching. Being in the classroom was so much fun. Granted, I did have some tough days but I would say 90% of the time it was good. The memories I have in the classroom are days of laughter. I remember being at the front of the classroom almost falling over, and in tears because I was laughing SO hard from something a student said. I wish I could remember everything that was said in class that day. Because I remember the entire class, and myself laughing so hard for so long! I can still see their faces as we all barreled over laughing. It was such a great day. As my students were leaving class after the bell, so many of them told me how great that class was. They were right. I love that our class had the ability to laugh and enjoy themselves. I definitely think giving kids a little freedom to relax and be a kid in the classroom makes them stronger in class.
So here I go! I have 150+ hours of courses I have to take for my renewal. My goal is 2-3 hours of classes a day. That means I can finish it all in 50-75 days. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 3 young kids, teaching license renewal classes and my judging license renewal classes (20 hours of that) is a lot on my plate right now. But I can do it! I’m excited to start!
*the picture is my first year teaching and coaching 💙
The Texas State Fair is one of my favorite events in the world. It’s absolutely ridiculous I know, but the atmosphere, energy and excitement of it all is what makes it great. (Plus Fletchers Corny Dogs 😉)
We took our 4 year old and our 5 month old. We had to leave the 2 year old home with grandma because he wouldn’t have lasted more than 15 minutes. He would have just wanted to run. Those crowds would have been terrible with him.
I wasn’t sure how our 4 year old would do but I was pleasantly surprised. He was a little ornery at first but it was because he was hungry. Once we got food in him we were good to go! We spent almost 4 1/2 hours walking around playing games, riding rides, eating, etc. I’ve honestly never gone to the fair and played a game or ridden a ride! I’ve always just watched shows and eaten food. So this was a new experience for me too and I loved it. Yes “carny” games are a bit of a waste of money but I can’t say it wasn’t a bit fun!
When it came to the games, it was a little difficult for my 4 year old to understand that you don’t win something every time. Some games despite not “winning” you still got a small prize. While others you got nothing. So it was hard for him to understand why sometimes he got a prize and others he didnt. That’s honestly hard to explain to a 4 year old. But honestly he took it better than I expected!
Overall it was a great day. The fair never disappoints. We definitely had a few things we didn’t get to do that we wanted to but we ran short on time. But this was our first year to take a child who could walk. Thanks to covid, we missed last year and the year before, Ryder sat in a stroller the whole time. So it was a learning experience for us all. Next year we will probably make a full day of it and plan better than we did. That way we can visit the attractions we want to and still allow for rest times and more food tastings!
The other day at the pool, after playing in the sun for an hour, I look over at my 4 year old and his swim shorts were at his ankles. Literally bare butt out to everyone. I of course panicked, ran over to him and quickly pulled his pants up. I asked him why his pants were down. He said he was done wearing them. So we had to have the discussion, if you want dry clothes on, ask don’t just take off your clothes.
Honestly, I was super glad that his pants were down for a reason like he wanted to change and not that he took them down to pee in public. Because that was the first thing that came to mind. I really feared he dropped pants to pee in the pool. 😳
Part of me sort of always assumes kids are born with an inkling of knowing what’s appropriate and what’s not. Then something like this happens and I remember it has to be taught. Kids are literally little balls of clay that need to be molded.
Yesterday was a rough day for this little munchkin. He got his two month shots. The post shot soreness was hard on him. You couldn’t touch his little legs without him crying in pain. The only comfortable way for him to lay was across my lap.
Those little cries are the hardest to hear. It literally broke my heart that I couldn’t make the aching stop for him.
He isn’t aching as much today. The shot spots are a little sore but it’s not causing him to cry (thank heavens).
I think not being able to take away their aches and pains is one of the hardest parts of motherhood💙
I”m in month 8 of my pregnancy and the sleepless nights have kicked in. I have forgotten how hard the last few months can be. I’m so exhausted every day. The weight of the baby, chasing around 2 little ones and not sleeping at night is getting to me.
With my first baby I had only minor pregnancy insomnia, plus nightly leg pains. I had a few nights where I didn’t sleep well but it was never a full night. Maybe just a few hours where I couldn’t get to sleep. Second baby I had just nightly leg pains. With this third baby it’s major insomnia and leg pains at night.
This last week I had a run of about 48 hours without sleep. And yes I tried. It’s not like I’m up doing things. I’m literally laying in bed, tossing and turning, staring at the wall (I can only lay on my side). It makes the daytime brutal because I drag so much. I feel bad for the boys because I’m not at my best for them. I feel like I’m in a non functioning state. Basically a walking zombie. I’m sure I look just as terrible as I feel.
Last night my insomnia and leg pain was at its worst. I was up till 4am just trying to get the dull ache in my legs to go away long enough for me to try to sleep. It felt like I was checking the clock every 15 minutes. Time was moving so slowly. I literally paced the house to get my legs moving. I tried stretching and massage. I took Tylenol and drank a ton of water. Nothing worked. The water actually just made me need to pee more so I was getting up every 30 minutes to go. 🤦🏼♀️
Needless to say, I’m ready for Brody to be here. I know more sleepless nights will lie ahead when he is here, but at least the leg cramps, hip pain and heart burn will be gone!
I was impressed with the material of the pants. It’s a thick, sturdy material that doesn’t seem like it will stretch out or pill after wear. I love that the pants are high waisted without having that old school “mom pant” look. An issue I have with some high waisted pants is that the pants never stay high. They slide down a little to become mid rise and I’m left with this saggy crotch look. These pants didn’t do that when I moved around! They actually have a drawstring you can tighten to keep them from slipping! I could literally wear them all day and have them look the same without stretching and sagging!
As a mom of 2 (almost 3) little ones I’m always moving. These pants moved well with me while I ran around with my little ones. I really liked that it had a side pocket, which a lot of legging styles don’t have. The pocket is the perfect size for my phone! I always set my phone down and forget where I put it. I went the entire day without losing my phone thanks to this pocket.
If you’re on the hunt for a good quality, good priced, cute pair of jogger/leggings, I highly recommend looking at Born Tough. The pants come in 4 different colors! I of course love the black because it goes with everything! They have both women and men’s styles so no one is left out!
I’m a little over 6 months pregnant now. My belly is getting bigger which means movements while working out are getting more difficult. However this isn’t stopping me from working out! Workouts are the one thing keeping up my strength and energy for the boys!
Third times the charm!! Our third island top went in! Yes I said third 🤦🏼♀️ The first one was cracked when it was installed. It was a bit defeating because the first one was so beautiful.
The supplier was able to get us a second slab of the stone. However, while they were cutting the slab at their facility, it cracked too! This isn’t a soft stone so it’s crazy we had two cracking issues. I was beginning to think this slab just wasn’t meant to be. I went out of my comfort zone when I picked it so I felt like the universe was telling me I should have kept it simple.
The stone company was able to get us a third slab of the same stone. We got lucky because this third slab is the most beautiful of them all!! It has so much veining to it compared to the others. It was installed with no issues this time! It’s such a relief because I had my heart set on this stone. The last thing I wanted to do was make another design choice this far in the building process!
It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳
When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.
Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).
I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.
I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.
Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!