Terrible twos

Terrible twos was definitely a bit brutal! People told me it was rough, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. The random melt downs, complete defiance, temper tantrums, etc. I knew he would push his limits but lord!!! Mix in the fact that he was still learning to talk and it made things so much more difficult for both of us. He would try to tell me something and got frustrated because I didn’t understand what he’s saying or wanting.

Every day I was exhausted! It’s an exhausted I’d never felt before. It’s a mix of mental and physical exhaustion. But weirdly enough, he wasn’t exhausted (ever)! It’s like the terrible twos upped his energy level. I was worn out well before he was. His bed time would come around and I was the one who needed to go to bed.

What didnt help was other moms telling me “wait till he’s 3 that’s worse than 2.” Come on people!!! Give a new mom a glimmer of hope! I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel and comments like this don’t help!

We are now at 3 and it’s a whole other ball game. He’s now able to talk, very well actually. But he still doesn’t know how to verbalize his feelings or emotions. So when tiredness comes over him and he’s ready for a nap, a lot of the time he just goes crazy. He’s not that kid who tells me he wants to go nap. He has always hated napping. Instead he acts out or throws things. What’s funny is he will throw something, look at me and go “mommy I’m being bad” and sometimes he actually goes and puts himself in timeout! It takes every bit of strength in my body not to die laughing. Because let’s be honest….the wrath of a toddler who’s in a mood and you laugh at him….nope I’m not going there!

He is a good boy. A very good boy. He’s so loving and does try to help out and share with his brother. We are just in a stage. I try to remind myself of that. Obviously in the moment it’s not exactly the thought going through my head. Most thoughts are more like “dear god please make this stop.” 😂 But as bad as I say it is, it could be worse. He isn’t as bad as some horror stories I’ve heard. He really is a good little boy. He is just learning and trying to figure out his emotions and life in general! 💙

Conversations with toddlers

One of the most exhausting things in the world……having a conversation with a toddler. My child is obsessed with the trash man, trash truck and trash bin. The trash bins outside not the small trash cans in your house.😂

I have no idea why. That’s just his thing right now and he talks about them non stop. Every conversation, no matter what it’s about, you can expect him to bring up something about a trash can or the trash man. If he hears a truck outside, he yells out “trash truck!” It could be just a regular, non commercial truck and he still yells it.

If you take him on a walk he will point out every single trash bin in the neighborhood. EVERY SINGLE ONE! What could be a 10 minute walk turns into 30-40 minutes because he has to stop so many times to point each one out. And heaven forbid the lid be left open on one or the front side not be facing out. He will let out a gasp as if something terrible just happened, point to the trash can and tell you the lid is open or it’s not facing forward.

I’ll be honest, it was funny and adorable at first. But now it’s a little tiring. I keep hoping every day something new will peak his interest and he will start talking about that every day. I need a break from hearing about the trash men, truck and bins! 😳

Goodbye to our house

Call me crazy but one of the hardest things I’ve done lately is say goodbye to our house. Yes we are building a beautiful new house and we will make so many more memories in that one. But that doesn’t make letting go of this one any easier.

I’ve never been more attached to somewhere I’ve lived except one house I had when I was younger. I lived there from age 2-13. That house was incredibly hard for me to leave. I still drive by it when I happen to be anywhere near the area. I just have so many amazing memories at that house. I’m sure the people who own it have seen my car and wonder why this weird woman randomly stops by once a year (sometimes twice) to stare at their house.

As for our current house……Was this our forever home? No. I always knew that. I didn’t love the inside layout. I knew we’d outgrow it fast. But it’s where we brought our babies home from the hospital. We watched them learn how to crawl, stand and walk in that house. We watched them grow so fast in the short time we lived in it. There’s just so many memories in this house.

Before we left I did a few small things. I’m a sentimental person so I had to leave our mark before we left. Ryder loved our pond so much. So I took out one of the pond stones, wrote the boys names on it and placed it back in the water. Yes the water will eventually wear away at the writing, but we’ll always know it was there. In one of the closets back in a corner hidden from the eye, I wrote the letter of all of our first names. I also put a heart for the pups. I didn’t have enough room to put their letters so they got a heart instead. Yes I’m aware if the new homeowner goes to paint the closet they will paint over the writing. But again, we will know it was always there.

Goodbye was not easy for this house. I honestly never realized how attached I’d gotten to it. Signing the papers over to the new sellers was literally like a knife in my heart. But the buyers have a child around Ryders age so I know he is going to love the house and yard as much as we did. The idea of another child loving it makes the let go a little easier. I hope they have as many wonderful, fun memories in that house as we did. 💙

Morning person

I’ve never been a morning person. I don’t like getting up early. Don’t get me wrong, I can! I have no problem waking up early, getting dressed, getting my kids ready and fed, etc. Getting up isn’t the problem. It’s that I don’t WANT to get up early. 😂

On the weekends, before kids, I slept in till 9am. During the week when I worked in marketing, I slept till 7am and was in the office around 8/8:30am. I changed jobs, became a teacher and I somehow got the “lucky” school that started classes at 7:30am. So I had to be to school around 6:15am. That meant a 5am wake up, because it wasn’t a close drive like my previous job. 😳

I think god was preparing me for children of my own when he brought me the early morning teaching job. Because I now have children who get up between 5-6am ready to play! I’m still not a morning person, and I would love to be able to sleep in every once in a while. But I wouldn’t trade it for a minute with my little ones. I love getting up and starting my morning playing with them. 💙

Potty Training….

How’s potty training going in our house? Well my toddler prefers to poop in the yard like the dogs instead of going in the toilet like a big boy. So I’d say it’s going well. We are just taking a small detour. 😂

My kid does things on his own time. He walked one month after crawling. He woke up one morning and started talking. He literally had me so worried he wasn’t going to talk. He got to 2 1/2 and still wasn’t talking. Then out of the blue he just decided ok today’s the day I’ll start talking and it hasn’t stopped!

So no I’m not pushing the potty training. I’m letting him do things on his own time. Would I like him to be potty trained right now? Absolutely! Diapers aren’t cheap. But often times when you try to force a kid to do something they won’t or actually take steps in the opposite direction. So I’m just letting him tell me when he’s ready. We encourage it and talk about it, but never force it.

I’m not exactly sure why he wants to poop in the yard. It is a little odd, I’ll admit that. But he does love his dog. And maybe he’s just intrigued by the fact that she does it outside. I don’t know. I’m just trying to laugh it off for now. Because one day when he’s older, and potty trained, it’ll be a great story to tell!

Lack of alone time

The worst part about quarantine….zero alone time. And by alone time I mean me, by myself, with no one to talk to and nothing to think about. 🙄

I’m an independent person with more introvert characteristics than you’d think. I like to do things on my own and figure things out for myself. I also enjoy being alone sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband. But I’m one of those people who needs an hour or two to themselves just to relax and think about nothing important. It’s like hitting the reset button for me.

I lost most of my alone time when I became a stay at home mom. But what little I was holding on to is completely gone now thanks to this quarantine. I can’t even take a shower in peace without my husband opening the door to have a conversation or ask me questions. Or my toddler coming in to hand me a toy or ask for something. I know my child means no harm by it, and it’s sweet he wants to share a toy. But when you just want a moment of silence, a child standing there with the shower door open staring at you, isn’t the most relaxing.

Im trying to stay positive and remember that this quarantine wont last forever. We will go back to normal life eventually, and I’ll be able to go back to the gym and have an hour to myself. And if God wills it, maybe I’ll get an entire day to myself one day too to recover from all this 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

These days

Isn’t it funny the little things we take for granted…… I miss going to the gym whenever I wanted. I miss trips to the grocery store with my boys (they actually love it there). I miss taking my boys to play places and watching them play and laugh. I miss walking down to the park and letting my little one play on the slides. 😭

It’s a strange and sort of scary world we live in at the moment. We are doing our best to stay happy and positive, but it gets hard at times. I’ve actually had to stop watching and reading the news. It was making my anxiety so bad, which isn’t healthy for me or the kids. ❌

Right now my focus is just making sure we eat healthy, get some exercise, get fresh air, keep our distance from others, and just keep hope that the light at the end of this dark tunnel is near! ⭐️

Christmas with kids

I thought Christmas was exciting as a child, but no one told me how much fun it is when you have a child. Seeing the excitement of the holidays on their face just melts your heart!

My oldest is obsessed with Christmas lights. He gets SO excited when he sees them. He loves to look out the window every night at the neighbors lights. You’d think they put up different lights each night by how excited he gets to see them each time. But no, it’s the same lights every night. It’s so cute!

He isn’t 100% sure about Santa but he knows he’s associated with Christmas and points to him anytime he sees something with Santa on it.

My kids are still young so they don’t exactly associate gifts with Christmas. Which is super humbling because here they are getting excited about the lights, decorations, etc, vs the size of the presents or how many there are. Everything with them is so innocent and sweet right now. It makes you just want to freeze time and stay here in this moment forever! ❤️

Life with two young kids

Life with two young kids….. 👶🏻 👶🏻

Yesterday the day started with one kid peeing ON my pillow. I’m still debating on whether to put it in the wash and bleach it or call it a loss and just throw it away. 🛌

It was then followed by Ryder taking off his shorts and diaper and running naked through the house. He was kind enough to take me by the hand and show me where he peed on the floor during his streaking episode. 🚽

Ryder’s new thing is sticking his hands down his pants…..we knew the day would come as it does with every little boy. However, we have started with the back side of our pants. It took all my energy not to fall over laughing when ryder stuck his hands down into his diaper, only to remember he had just pooped. He pulled his hands out and they were covered with poop. It was HILARIOUS to see the look on his face. Then I realized I had to clean him up. It stopped being funny…… 🧼

That afternoon Ryder decided he wanted to have a party while I was changing Camden’s diaper. He went into the pantry and took out the paper plates and flung them all over the kitchen. He then took out the remaining plastic wine glasses from a previous party and lined them up on the floor. He filled those glasses with animal crackers from his snack bowl. The dog decided to join the party and ate some of the animal crackers. He also took out any boxed food item and stacked them as high as he could. 🐶

During another of Camden’s diaper changes, Ryder thought it would be funny to go in the closet, shut the door and sit quietly giving mommy a heart attack as she ran around the house panicked trying to find him. 🚪

Dinner consisted of 75% of the meal ending up in Ryder’s lap or on the floor. (We are still trying to master our silverware skills.) So of course right before bed he was starving and asking for more food. Guess what I gave him……the remaining animal crackers in the plastic cups! 😂

Would I say this was a bad day? No. It was definitely a battle of a day but not our worst! We are all in one piece still. So I’d say it was just one of our more “busy” days. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Baby Update

Baby update: The boys and I are slowly adjusting to life together. It’s definitely been an uphill battle. Routines have changed and the vibe in the house is very different. Even the dog is thrown off. 😂 But it’s a good different. Literally each day has a new challenge to work around and learn from. 👍🏻

Trying to get Cam and Ryder up and taken care of each morning definitely isn’t without its battles. They are both in a demanding stage and need so much of my attention. Also, a clean house isn’t the easiest task now. So I do my best just to make sure things don’t pile up. Showering is done if I’m lucky. I have to beg someone to watch the boys just to be able to rinse off. God only knows when I’ll be able to find the time to wash my hair again. Dreadlocks may be in my future! 😂

By no means am I complaining. I love the new changes in our life. And despite Ryder’s annoyed faces he gives Cam, I think he will settle in soon and realize Cam isn’t a threat. If my over possessive dog can be ok with Cam I know Ryder will be too (eventually). 🐶

When people ask what I need, my only request is positivity. I just need everyone to be positive and happy around me. If others around me are happy and positive, it helps keep my energy levels and positivity up. I focus more on the good and less on the things upsetting me or stressing me out. And trust me, with 2 little ones under two, the feeling of stress and being overwhelmed comes quick!