The other day at the pool, after playing in the sun for an hour, I look over at my 4 year old and his swim shorts were at his ankles. Literally bare butt out to everyone. I of course panicked, ran over to him and quickly pulled his pants up. I asked him why his pants were down. He said he was done wearing them. So we had to have the discussion, if you want dry clothes on, ask don’t just take off your clothes.
Honestly, I was super glad that his pants were down for a reason like he wanted to change and not that he took them down to pee in public. Because that was the first thing that came to mind. I really feared he dropped pants to pee in the pool. 😳
Part of me sort of always assumes kids are born with an inkling of knowing what’s appropriate and what’s not. Then something like this happens and I remember it has to be taught. Kids are literally little balls of clay that need to be molded.
It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳
When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.
Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).
I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.
I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.
Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!
My toddler is in a stage of meltdowns. Even though he talks he’s still not able to voice or even truly understand all his feelings. He’s still learning. There’s two main causes for them we have learned.
The newest thing that causes meltdowns is hunger. He gets so busy playing some mornings that he doesn’t eat or will eat just a few bites of his breakfast. I get so distracted with the baby sometimes that I don’t notice Ryder hasn’t eaten or barely eaten his food. By 10am we will have multiple meltdowns if this happens. And it’s all due to hunger. When the meltdown happens, if we sit him at the table and get food in him, it’s like he becomes a different child. His attitude changes and you can literally see him go from mad, to calm and happy.
The other thing that causes major meltdowns is tiredness. If he’s overly exhausted he doesn’t understand the feeling so he has a meltdown. The only thing to fix this is obviously sleep. And of course he has a meltdown when we tell him it’s nap or bedtime. If I keep him on schedule and get him down for a nap before the tiredness hits I can usually avoid a melt down. But there are days that he’s been super busy and even when I stay on schedule, a meltdown is just unavoidable.
The toddler stage is super difficult, for you and your child. You’re both learning to understand their emotions and what causes them to feel a certain way. 💙
The other day while out to eat with my husband and oldest child, I had to go to the bathroom. I got up to leave and of course our little guy wanted to go with me. I figured sure why not, maybe he’ll need to go too. When we got to the bathroom there was only one stall open. We took that stall and I heard people coming in after us. We chose a busy time for the bathroom apparently!
Right as I sat down to use the bathroom, my child yells out “poop mommy poop.” I just looked at him and laughed and said “no mommy doesn’t need to poop.” But it continued. He kept cheering me on telling me to poop! Then if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, he yells out “poop out your butt mommy.” Oh My God! Why child, why?!? But wait it gets better….he then yells out “you’re peeing! Good job mommy good job.” At this point I’m a bit embarrassed because I can only imagine what the women in the other stalls and in line are thinking, but I’m also laughing SO hard. We have been working on potty training with him, so we praise him when he uses the potty. So he was praising me for using the potty. It was hilarious, embarrassing and absolutely adorable.
As we walked out of the stall people either avoided eye contact with me or just gave me an awkward smile. That made me start to laugh again because I’m sure this is only the start of our embarrassing toddler moments. I can’t wait to see what else follows. (Note there is sarcasm in my voice when saying that last sentence!)
Ryder, my 3 year old, is in that rebellious toddler stage where he doesn’t want to do what he’s asked. He’s not overly mean about it or anything. He just ignores you and pretends like he never heard you. Even when you ask 10. So we have started doing the count to 3 method. It works every time. I will literally say 1 and he says “no no I’ll do it” or immediately begins doing what was asked of him. I don’t even have to count with my voice in a different tone. I just use my normal voice and he hops right to it like he knows it’s time to do what is asked of him.
But here’s the funny part…..I really have NO IDEA what happens if I ever get to 3. Literally no idea! He’s never gotten past 2. Every time I count I think to myself, omg please don’t let me get to 3 because I don’t know what to do next.
I know the day will come that he decides to push it and see what happens next. So I’ll definitely have to have a plan for when that happens. But for now I’m going to appreciate the fact that he does what’s asked of him before 2.
Want to know what the biggest early parenting win is? (In my eyes that is)……When your child finally uses the potty!!
It sounds ridiculous to be making such a big deal of something like that. But when you’ve had to deal with diapers, it’s exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Even if that light may be super far away.
Diapers aren’t cheap and if your child is like mine, they go through SO many. My child drinks so much water during the day. I swear it seems like I change his diaper every couple minutes. Yes that’s a bit dramatic and I know it’s not that often. But if feels like it!
Potty training itself isn’t terribly difficult. I would say the most difficult part for me was getting my child to actually want to go in the potty. A regular toilet scared him. I think the size was a bit overwhelming. So I got him a little kids potty. He didn’t like that I had it in the bathroom at first because it was close to the big potty. So strangely enough I moved it into the living room and tucked it behind a chair so he had his privacy. That’s when he actually showed a little interest in it!
I started by letting him run around naked and just reminding him he didn’t have a diaper on so he needed to tell me when he had to go potty. The first two times he didn’t even tell me. He walked right over to the potty, sat down and went! After that we had a few accidents. He peed on the carpet twice while playing. However he did stop himself. He started peeing then was like omg I don’t have a diaper on. He stopped, told me, then went over and used the potty. While I don’t love that he peed on the carpet, it’s all a learning process so I didn’t get mad at him.
I’ve figured out if I put “big boy underwear” on him, he can tell the difference in the feel of that and a diaper. So he will tell me he needs to go potty if wearing underwear. However, if I put pull-ups on him, he uses the diaper not the potty. It’s almost like it’s done out of laziness. He doesn’t want to stop playing to use the potty so he’s like ok cool I have a diaper on I’ll use that. So lately if we are at home, I have him just wear underwear (and pants) so he gets used to the feel and using the potty becomes a habit!
He does get super excited about using the potty. He would tell me he needed to go then when he finished he would excitedly announce that he used the potty. It was super cute! He gets so proud of himself.
I know we aren’t 100% done with diapers. But we are past the starting line! That’s a success in my eyes!
Terrible twos was definitely a bit brutal! People told me it was rough, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. The random melt downs, complete defiance, temper tantrums, etc. I knew he would push his limits but lord!!! Mix in the fact that he was still learning to talk and it made things so much more difficult for both of us. He would try to tell me something and got frustrated because I didn’t understand what he’s saying or wanting.
Every day I was exhausted! It’s an exhausted I’d never felt before. It’s a mix of mental and physical exhaustion. But weirdly enough, he wasn’t exhausted (ever)! It’s like the terrible twos upped his energy level. I was worn out well before he was. His bed time would come around and I was the one who needed to go to bed.
What didnt help was other moms telling me “wait till he’s 3 that’s worse than 2.” Come on people!!! Give a new mom a glimmer of hope! I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel and comments like this don’t help!
We are now at 3 and it’s a whole other ball game. He’s now able to talk, very well actually. But he still doesn’t know how to verbalize his feelings or emotions. So when tiredness comes over him and he’s ready for a nap, a lot of the time he just goes crazy. He’s not that kid who tells me he wants to go nap. He has always hated napping. Instead he acts out or throws things. What’s funny is he will throw something, look at me and go “mommy I’m being bad” and sometimes he actually goes and puts himself in timeout! It takes every bit of strength in my body not to die laughing. Because let’s be honest….the wrath of a toddler who’s in a mood and you laugh at him….nope I’m not going there!
He is a good boy. A very good boy. He’s so loving and does try to help out and share with his brother. We are just in a stage. I try to remind myself of that. Obviously in the moment it’s not exactly the thought going through my head. Most thoughts are more like “dear god please make this stop.” 😂 But as bad as I say it is, it could be worse. He isn’t as bad as some horror stories I’ve heard. He really is a good little boy. He is just learning and trying to figure out his emotions and life in general! 💙
One of the most exhausting things in the world……having a conversation with a toddler. My child is obsessed with the trash man, trash truck and trash bin. The trash bins outside not the small trash cans in your house.😂
I have no idea why. That’s just his thing right now and he talks about them non stop. Every conversation, no matter what it’s about, you can expect him to bring up something about a trash can or the trash man. If he hears a truck outside, he yells out “trash truck!” It could be just a regular, non commercial truck and he still yells it.
If you take him on a walk he will point out every single trash bin in the neighborhood. EVERY SINGLE ONE! What could be a 10 minute walk turns into 30-40 minutes because he has to stop so many times to point each one out. And heaven forbid the lid be left open on one or the front side not be facing out. He will let out a gasp as if something terrible just happened, point to the trash can and tell you the lid is open or it’s not facing forward.
I’ll be honest, it was funny and adorable at first. But now it’s a little tiring. I keep hoping every day something new will peak his interest and he will start talking about that every day. I need a break from hearing about the trash men, truck and bins! 😳
How’s potty training going in our house? Well my toddler prefers to poop in the yard like the dogs instead of going in the toilet like a big boy. So I’d say it’s going well. We are just taking a small detour. 😂
My kid does things on his own time. He walked one month after crawling. He woke up one morning and started talking. He literally had me so worried he wasn’t going to talk. He got to 2 1/2 and still wasn’t talking. Then out of the blue he just decided ok today’s the day I’ll start talking and it hasn’t stopped!
So no I’m not pushing the potty training. I’m letting him do things on his own time. Would I like him to be potty trained right now? Absolutely! Diapers aren’t cheap. But often times when you try to force a kid to do something they won’t or actually take steps in the opposite direction. So I’m just letting him tell me when he’s ready. We encourage it and talk about it, but never force it.
I’m not exactly sure why he wants to poop in the yard. It is a little odd, I’ll admit that. But he does love his dog. And maybe he’s just intrigued by the fact that she does it outside. I don’t know. I’m just trying to laugh it off for now. Because one day when he’s older, and potty trained, it’ll be a great story to tell!
My father-in-law gave me the biggest compliment the other day. He said my kids were the most well behaved kids he’s ever met. This might not seem like a big deal to most people, but I took it as a major compliment!
I work very hard to help my kids learn to be respectful and kind even at a young age. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t without our temper tantrums and meltdowns. But those I don’t consider to be completely behavioral. They’re typically related to communication struggles and frustrations in understanding their own emotions. So I consider meltdowns and temper tantrums to be more learning and developmental related vs behavioral. Not to mention, they are starting to become few and far between. A majority of ours were due to my toddlers lack of communication since he was struggling with words. Now that he’s gotten more words, he’s less frustrated and able to voice what he needs. So we saw a significant drop in temper tantrums and meltdowns.
I’ve also worked really hard to change my mindset. I used to get so frustrated with my toddler when he would have a meltdown or temper tantrum. After I learned they were mainly due to his frustration in not being able to communicate, I was able to change my thinking and my actions. When he has a meltdown, I try really hard to talk to him softly, hug him or sometimes just let him be. Sometimes he needs a hug and other times he just needs his space. Same as adults!
Meltdowns and temper tantrums aside, my kids really are pretty well behaved! They listen well (most of the time.) They are good with following directions and doing what’s asked of them. My oldest loves to please people. If you ask him to do something and he does it, he gets so proud of himself. Sometimes I have him do goofy little tasks for me just because I know it makes him so happy and proud to help mommy.
By no means am I saying my kids are better than anyone else’s. I’m just saying how proud I am of them and how I appreciate someone pointing out how well behaved they are. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right and navigating this parenting stuff successfully!