As adults, most of the time, we either aim to parent just like our parents or be the exact opposite of them. My goal when having kids has always been to try to lift them up and have them always know I loved them more than anything.
Growing up we were taught not to show emotion or that you cared. Feelings were something you did not talk about. You were to always keep everything inside. My mother was never a warm and happy person. She was always mad and yelling about something. Love was not something you were shown. It was just assumed. There was never a time where my mother actually hugged me and acted like she cared for what I was doing. After a gymnastics meet, cheer competition, swim meet, etc I’d see other kids parents giving them hugs after and telling them how good they did. I never got told I did a good job or got a happy hug. I immediately got told what I did wrong or how someone else did something better than me. My mother pushed by intimidation. Her way to make me “do better” was to tell me how much better someone else was than me. She would often compare me to her friends children. Even as an adult she enjoys telling me how much better her friends children are doing than me. I work really hard to remind myself that each of my children are different. And they are different than other peoples children. So you really can’t compare one child to another. All you can do is encourage, support and help them grow in the best way for them individually.
I found an old diary from when I was little. I loved writing and I used to write everything down. In it I questioned why everyone else’s moms hugged them and were excited to see them every day but mine was always mad at me. In it I asked why my mom didn’t love me and I didn’t understand what I did wrong. I even wrote “I’ll do better. I’ll be perfect and maybe she will love me.” I was in fourth grade when I wrote this. To this day as a 37 year old, I still have never heard my mother tell me she loves me. That’s a feeling I never want my children to ever have. I never want my love for them to be questioned. I want them to wake up every morning knowing I love them more than anything in the world and go to bed knowing that same thing.
It’s taken me quite a few years, but I’ve learned it’s ok to let your kids have and talk about their feelings. It doesn’t make them weak. It actually makes them stronger and more self aware. Constant threatening or belittling causes more damage than good. It instills a constant fear in the child which can cause anxiety to roll over in other life situations. I’ve also learned the strength in words. Telling your kids you love them and are proud of their victories and even their failures, will have such a positive impact on how they view themselves and their ability to try again at something in the future.
I’ve been MIA from my blog for a while. Life sort of took the reigns on its own and went 100 miles a minute! With young kids I’m just doing my best to make sure everyone is on time and fully clothed these days!
A lot has changed in the last year. One of which is me making the decision to renew my teaching license. Will I go back? Maybe, maybe not. But I want the option to still be there.
I loved teaching. Being in the classroom was so much fun. Granted, I did have some tough days but I would say 90% of the time it was good. The memories I have in the classroom are days of laughter. I remember being at the front of the classroom almost falling over, and in tears because I was laughing SO hard from something a student said. I wish I could remember everything that was said in class that day. Because I remember the entire class, and myself laughing so hard for so long! I can still see their faces as we all barreled over laughing. It was such a great day. As my students were leaving class after the bell, so many of them told me how great that class was. They were right. I love that our class had the ability to laugh and enjoy themselves. I definitely think giving kids a little freedom to relax and be a kid in the classroom makes them stronger in class.
So here I go! I have 150+ hours of courses I have to take for my renewal. My goal is 2-3 hours of classes a day. That means I can finish it all in 50-75 days. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 3 young kids, teaching license renewal classes and my judging license renewal classes (20 hours of that) is a lot on my plate right now. But I can do it! I’m excited to start!
*the picture is my first year teaching and coaching 💙
The Texas State Fair is one of my favorite events in the world. It’s absolutely ridiculous I know, but the atmosphere, energy and excitement of it all is what makes it great. (Plus Fletchers Corny Dogs 😉)
We took our 4 year old and our 5 month old. We had to leave the 2 year old home with grandma because he wouldn’t have lasted more than 15 minutes. He would have just wanted to run. Those crowds would have been terrible with him.
I wasn’t sure how our 4 year old would do but I was pleasantly surprised. He was a little ornery at first but it was because he was hungry. Once we got food in him we were good to go! We spent almost 4 1/2 hours walking around playing games, riding rides, eating, etc. I’ve honestly never gone to the fair and played a game or ridden a ride! I’ve always just watched shows and eaten food. So this was a new experience for me too and I loved it. Yes “carny” games are a bit of a waste of money but I can’t say it wasn’t a bit fun!
When it came to the games, it was a little difficult for my 4 year old to understand that you don’t win something every time. Some games despite not “winning” you still got a small prize. While others you got nothing. So it was hard for him to understand why sometimes he got a prize and others he didnt. That’s honestly hard to explain to a 4 year old. But honestly he took it better than I expected!
Overall it was a great day. The fair never disappoints. We definitely had a few things we didn’t get to do that we wanted to but we ran short on time. But this was our first year to take a child who could walk. Thanks to covid, we missed last year and the year before, Ryder sat in a stroller the whole time. So it was a learning experience for us all. Next year we will probably make a full day of it and plan better than we did. That way we can visit the attractions we want to and still allow for rest times and more food tastings!
Yesterday was a rough day for this little munchkin. He got his two month shots. The post shot soreness was hard on him. You couldn’t touch his little legs without him crying in pain. The only comfortable way for him to lay was across my lap.
Those little cries are the hardest to hear. It literally broke my heart that I couldn’t make the aching stop for him.
He isn’t aching as much today. The shot spots are a little sore but it’s not causing him to cry (thank heavens).
I think not being able to take away their aches and pains is one of the hardest parts of motherhood💙
I”m in month 8 of my pregnancy and the sleepless nights have kicked in. I have forgotten how hard the last few months can be. I’m so exhausted every day. The weight of the baby, chasing around 2 little ones and not sleeping at night is getting to me.
With my first baby I had only minor pregnancy insomnia, plus nightly leg pains. I had a few nights where I didn’t sleep well but it was never a full night. Maybe just a few hours where I couldn’t get to sleep. Second baby I had just nightly leg pains. With this third baby it’s major insomnia and leg pains at night.
This last week I had a run of about 48 hours without sleep. And yes I tried. It’s not like I’m up doing things. I’m literally laying in bed, tossing and turning, staring at the wall (I can only lay on my side). It makes the daytime brutal because I drag so much. I feel bad for the boys because I’m not at my best for them. I feel like I’m in a non functioning state. Basically a walking zombie. I’m sure I look just as terrible as I feel.
Last night my insomnia and leg pain was at its worst. I was up till 4am just trying to get the dull ache in my legs to go away long enough for me to try to sleep. It felt like I was checking the clock every 15 minutes. Time was moving so slowly. I literally paced the house to get my legs moving. I tried stretching and massage. I took Tylenol and drank a ton of water. Nothing worked. The water actually just made me need to pee more so I was getting up every 30 minutes to go. 🤦🏼♀️
Needless to say, I’m ready for Brody to be here. I know more sleepless nights will lie ahead when he is here, but at least the leg cramps, hip pain and heart burn will be gone!
It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳
When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.
Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).
I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.
I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.
Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!
One weekend my husband asked me what we had planned for the day. I told him nothing. We actually didn’t have anything scheduled. His exact response was “you mean we have nothing to do and are going to sit in the house ALL day?” I literally thought to myself “yes Chris we are, welcome to my life every day as a stay at home mom.”
Being a stay at home parent is NOT easy. Especially after having spent 8 years in a corporate job then a few years as a teacher. I was used to being around people. So it’s a very different world when you’re around one or two little ones all day, every day. We have our good days and bad at home. Obviously the bad days make it a lot harder on you mentally.
Don’t get me wrong, I love spending every minute of every day with my kids. I love that I don’t miss a second of anything they do. But it is very difficult not seeing adults regularly or having any adults to converse with daily like you would at an office job. For a good two years my oldest didn’t really talk. I would actually leave the tv on all day to Friends just so I had the sound of adults to listen to.
Anyone who says being a stay at home mom is easy has clearly not done it or has stay at home amnesia and forgotten how difficult it is. It takes a toll on you physically and mentally. I’ll be honest, I think being a stay at home mom has been harder on me psychologically and emotionally than either of my previous jobs were.
If you are a stay at home mom(or dad), you deserve the biggest gift in the world. If you know a stay at home mom, remember to have empathy for them. They’re doing a thankless job that they love but also really wears on them.
Well I’m officially at 17 weeks. But I feel like I’m 7 months. I must have pregnancy amnesia because I don’t remember feeling this big and bloated with my other two kids. When I think about it, I honestly have forgotten almost everything (discomfort wise) when I was pregnant with my first two. I sort of remember feeling achy and having to pee a lot. But that’s all I remember. I have literally forgotten everything. Maybe that’s why I was ok having a third. I had forgotten all the pain and discomfort that came with the first two.
I do understand what they say about pregnancy being more difficult as you get older. One thing I do remember is having more energy with the other two than I do now. I definitely feel like I’m moving a lot slower this time around. Granted I am chasing after two little ones while pregnant so that definitely adds to the exhaustion. I’m also getting up earlier and staying up later than I would like. So I’m getting less sleep as well.
The exhaustion is definitely taking a toll on my body and making it harder to do things like workout. I remember wanting and liking to go workout with my first two. I had no issues working out other than just comfortably moving around thanks to my big belly. The motivation was there. This time around I have zero want to workout. Just thinking about workout makes me tired and I swear I can already feel my muscles start to ache even before I start.
I still have 5 months to go. A long 5 months! Somehow I need to find more energy and the ability to sleep. Definitely sounds a lot easier than it really is.
This third baby is taking a toll on my diet. I swear I can’t eat anything without getting nauseous. With my second baby I was sick for maybe a month and it went away. But this time around it’s stretching a lot longer.
Strangely enough, the only things that don’t make me sick are: Ice cream, a tortilla with peanut butter, avocado toast, milk, pizza, cheese and vanilla cheerios. You’d think milk products wouldn’t be easy on the stomach and would make me sick. But weirdly enough they don’t bother it!
One strange food aversion I’m having that I had with our second baby is with chicken. I can’t eat chicken cooked at someone’s house. It literally makes me start gagging. I can’t even cook it myself without feeling sick. But I can eat chicken from a restaurant! There’s something about the smell of it cooking in the house that makes me sick. Since I can’t smell the chicken being cooked in the restaurant, it doesn’t bother me.
The first three months I was really battling with food. But now I’ve found a few items I can eat regularly with no major issue. So every day, I eat pretty much the exact same thing. I actually don’t mind it much because I’m a creature of habit and love schedules. I’ve always had my meals planned out days in advance so I’m not doing too much different than my usual other than being limited on foods.
This is definitely proof that every pregnancy is different! I’m learning as I go with each one!
Ryder, my 3 year old, is in that rebellious toddler stage where he doesn’t want to do what he’s asked. He’s not overly mean about it or anything. He just ignores you and pretends like he never heard you. Even when you ask 10. So we have started doing the count to 3 method. It works every time. I will literally say 1 and he says “no no I’ll do it” or immediately begins doing what was asked of him. I don’t even have to count with my voice in a different tone. I just use my normal voice and he hops right to it like he knows it’s time to do what is asked of him.
But here’s the funny part…..I really have NO IDEA what happens if I ever get to 3. Literally no idea! He’s never gotten past 2. Every time I count I think to myself, omg please don’t let me get to 3 because I don’t know what to do next.
I know the day will come that he decides to push it and see what happens next. So I’ll definitely have to have a plan for when that happens. But for now I’m going to appreciate the fact that he does what’s asked of him before 2.