End of pregnancy struggles

I”m in month 8 of my pregnancy and the sleepless nights have kicked in. I have forgotten how hard the last few months can be. I’m so exhausted every day. The weight of the baby, chasing around 2 little ones and not sleeping at night is getting to me.

With my first baby I had only minor pregnancy insomnia, plus nightly leg pains. I had a few nights where I didn’t sleep well but it was never a full night. Maybe just a few hours where I couldn’t get to sleep. Second baby I had just nightly leg pains. With this third baby it’s major insomnia and leg pains at night.

This last week I had a run of about 48 hours without sleep. And yes I tried. It’s not like I’m up doing things. I’m literally laying in bed, tossing and turning, staring at the wall (I can only lay on my side). It makes the daytime brutal because I drag so much. I feel bad for the boys because I’m not at my best for them. I feel like I’m in a non functioning state. Basically a walking zombie. I’m sure I look just as terrible as I feel.

Last night my insomnia and leg pain was at its worst. I was up till 4am just trying to get the dull ache in my legs to go away long enough for me to try to sleep. It felt like I was checking the clock every 15 minutes. Time was moving so slowly. I literally paced the house to get my legs moving. I tried stretching and massage. I took Tylenol and drank a ton of water. Nothing worked. The water actually just made me need to pee more so I was getting up every 30 minutes to go. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Needless to say, I’m ready for Brody to be here. I know more sleepless nights will lie ahead when he is here, but at least the leg cramps, hip pain and heart burn will be gone!

Introducing your kids to a new baby

It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳

When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.

Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).

I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.

I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.

Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!

Stay at home parents

One weekend my husband asked me what we had planned for the day. I told him nothing. We actually didn’t have anything scheduled. His exact response was “you mean we have nothing to do and are going to sit in the house ALL day?” I literally thought to myself “yes Chris we are, welcome to my life every day as a stay at home mom.”

Being a stay at home parent is NOT easy. Especially after having spent 8 years in a corporate job then a few years as a teacher. I was used to being around people. So it’s a very different world when you’re around one or two little ones all day, every day. We have our good days and bad at home. Obviously the bad days make it a lot harder on you mentally.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending every minute of every day with my kids. I love that I don’t miss a second of anything they do. But it is very difficult not seeing adults regularly or having any adults to converse with daily like you would at an office job. For a good two years my oldest didn’t really talk. I would actually leave the tv on all day to Friends just so I had the sound of adults to listen to.

Anyone who says being a stay at home mom is easy has clearly not done it or has stay at home amnesia and forgotten how difficult it is. It takes a toll on you physically and mentally. I’ll be honest, I think being a stay at home mom has been harder on me psychologically and emotionally than either of my previous jobs were.

If you are a stay at home mom(or dad), you deserve the biggest gift in the world. If you know a stay at home mom, remember to have empathy for them. They’re doing a thankless job that they love but also really wears on them.

Pregnancy Amnesia

Well I’m officially at 17 weeks. But I feel like I’m 7 months. I must have pregnancy amnesia because I don’t remember feeling this big and bloated with my other two kids. When I think about it, I honestly have forgotten almost everything (discomfort wise) when I was pregnant with my first two. I sort of remember feeling achy and having to pee a lot. But that’s all I remember. I have literally forgotten everything. Maybe that’s why I was ok having a third. I had forgotten all the pain and discomfort that came with the first two.

I do understand what they say about pregnancy being more difficult as you get older. One thing I do remember is having more energy with the other two than I do now. I definitely feel like I’m moving a lot slower this time around. Granted I am chasing after two little ones while pregnant so that definitely adds to the exhaustion. I’m also getting up earlier and staying up later than I would like. So I’m getting less sleep as well.

The exhaustion is definitely taking a toll on my body and making it harder to do things like workout. I remember wanting and liking to go workout with my first two. I had no issues working out other than just comfortably moving around thanks to my big belly. The motivation was there. This time around I have zero want to workout. Just thinking about workout makes me tired and I swear I can already feel my muscles start to ache even before I start.

I still have 5 months to go. A long 5 months! Somehow I need to find more energy and the ability to sleep. Definitely sounds a lot easier than it really is.

Food Aversions

This third baby is taking a toll on my diet. I swear I can’t eat anything without getting nauseous. With my second baby I was sick for maybe a month and it went away. But this time around it’s stretching a lot longer.

Strangely enough, the only things that don’t make me sick are: Ice cream, a tortilla with peanut butter, avocado toast, milk, pizza, cheese and vanilla cheerios. You’d think milk products wouldn’t be easy on the stomach and would make me sick. But weirdly enough they don’t bother it!

One strange food aversion I’m having that I had with our second baby is with chicken. I can’t eat chicken cooked at someone’s house. It literally makes me start gagging. I can’t even cook it myself without feeling sick. But I can eat chicken from a restaurant! There’s something about the smell of it cooking in the house that makes me sick. Since I can’t smell the chicken being cooked in the restaurant, it doesn’t bother me.

The first three months I was really battling with food. But now I’ve found a few items I can eat regularly with no major issue. So every day, I eat pretty much the exact same thing. I actually don’t mind it much because I’m a creature of habit and love schedules. I’ve always had my meals planned out days in advance so I’m not doing too much different than my usual other than being limited on foods.

This is definitely proof that every pregnancy is different! I’m learning as I go with each one!

Counting to 3

Ryder, my 3 year old, is in that rebellious toddler stage where he doesn’t want to do what he’s asked. He’s not overly mean about it or anything. He just ignores you and pretends like he never heard you. Even when you ask 10. So we have started doing the count to 3 method. It works every time. I will literally say 1 and he says “no no I’ll do it” or immediately begins doing what was asked of him. I don’t even have to count with my voice in a different tone. I just use my normal voice and he hops right to it like he knows it’s time to do what is asked of him.

But here’s the funny part…..I really have NO IDEA what happens if I ever get to 3. Literally no idea! He’s never gotten past 2. Every time I count I think to myself, omg please don’t let me get to 3 because I don’t know what to do next.

I know the day will come that he decides to push it and see what happens next. So I’ll definitely have to have a plan for when that happens. But for now I’m going to appreciate the fact that he does what’s asked of him before 2.

Scripture in the house

We wrote a few scripture verses in different parts of our house. The entry, living room, kitchen, stairs, playroom, master, etc. They each relate to those specific parts of the house and our lives.

My handwriting sadly looks absolutely terrible as I was writing. You don’t realize how hard it is to write on unfinished floors till you get started! There was so much material and stuff stuck to it, even after I tried cleaning it, that made it hard to write on. I’m surprised you can even read half of what I wrote in some places!

We even let our 3 year old color on the floor a little so he could leave his mark in his room. He doesn’t quite understand it now but he enjoyed it.

When the house is done, you won’t see the scripture. The hardwood floors will cover it, but we’ll know it’s there. It’s sort of like God himself. You can’t see him, but you know he’s always there. It’s a great memory for us to have that writing there but secretly hidden. 🙏🏻

In the kitchen where the island will be

Laundry addition

One of the best ideas my husband has had for our house……expanding the upstairs play room closet and making it in to an upstairs laundry closet!

Call me lazy but the last thing I want to do is haul the kids laundry up and down the stairs multiple times a week. First world problems, I know! 😂

I never even thought about having an upstairs laundry. But after talking with our builder my husband found a way to fit it! Did we lose storage space for the game room? NOPE! How? Well we expanded the closet so it’s double what it was supposed to be. So not only will it fit a stacked washer and dryer but we will have shelving on the side for whatever. We also made adjustments to a small linen closet just outside Camden’s room. So that will be perfect to put board games and toys!

I have an upstairs laundry! I can’t say it enough times! Lol That’s how excited I am about it. 💃🏼

Well behaved kids

My father-in-law gave me the biggest compliment the other day. He said my kids were the most well behaved kids he’s ever met. This might not seem like a big deal to most people, but I took it as a major compliment!

I work very hard to help my kids learn to be respectful and kind even at a young age. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t without our temper tantrums and meltdowns. But those I don’t consider to be completely behavioral. They’re typically related to communication struggles and frustrations in understanding their own emotions. So I consider meltdowns and temper tantrums to be more learning and developmental related vs behavioral. Not to mention, they are starting to become few and far between. A majority of ours were due to my toddlers lack of communication since he was struggling with words. Now that he’s gotten more words, he’s less frustrated and able to voice what he needs. So we saw a significant drop in temper tantrums and meltdowns.

I’ve also worked really hard to change my mindset. I used to get so frustrated with my toddler when he would have a meltdown or temper tantrum. After I learned they were mainly due to his frustration in not being able to communicate, I was able to change my thinking and my actions. When he has a meltdown, I try really hard to talk to him softly, hug him or sometimes just let him be. Sometimes he needs a hug and other times he just needs his space. Same as adults!

Meltdowns and temper tantrums aside, my kids really are pretty well behaved! They listen well (most of the time.) They are good with following directions and doing what’s asked of them. My oldest loves to please people. If you ask him to do something and he does it, he gets so proud of himself. Sometimes I have him do goofy little tasks for me just because I know it makes him so happy and proud to help mommy.

By no means am I saying my kids are better than anyone else’s. I’m just saying how proud I am of them and how I appreciate someone pointing out how well behaved they are. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right and navigating this parenting stuff successfully!

Lack of alone time

The worst part about quarantine….zero alone time. And by alone time I mean me, by myself, with no one to talk to and nothing to think about. 🙄

I’m an independent person with more introvert characteristics than you’d think. I like to do things on my own and figure things out for myself. I also enjoy being alone sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband. But I’m one of those people who needs an hour or two to themselves just to relax and think about nothing important. It’s like hitting the reset button for me.

I lost most of my alone time when I became a stay at home mom. But what little I was holding on to is completely gone now thanks to this quarantine. I can’t even take a shower in peace without my husband opening the door to have a conversation or ask me questions. Or my toddler coming in to hand me a toy or ask for something. I know my child means no harm by it, and it’s sweet he wants to share a toy. But when you just want a moment of silence, a child standing there with the shower door open staring at you, isn’t the most relaxing.

Im trying to stay positive and remember that this quarantine wont last forever. We will go back to normal life eventually, and I’ll be able to go back to the gym and have an hour to myself. And if God wills it, maybe I’ll get an entire day to myself one day too to recover from all this 😂🤷🏼‍♀️