Tag Archives: truth

How to Start Moving Forward amid the pandemic

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It’s been a hard year for mental health. Not that I have to tell you that.

No matter how the pandemic has changed your life — losing jobs, losing people, working overtime, parenting overtime — odds are it’s starting to wear on you as we continue missing family, friends, and any sense of normalcy.

Most people have spent the past 18 months just trying to get by. But going forward, we need to think seriously about how not to just tread water, but to propel ourselves forward despite this strange world we’re living in. There’s no telling how long it will be before we’re back to our old habits and routines. In the meantime, how can we take care of ourselves so that life doesn’t pause while we wait? The Fit Dallas Mom Blog explains how.

Schedule that therapy appointment

First, I want to address how hard it is to change your mindset on your own. It’s possible to undergo radical transformation through self-help, but it’s also slower and prone to setbacks. That’s why I’m a huge proponent of therapy.

Therapy isn’t just for fixing something that’s broken. It’s a means of getting a new perspective on old problems and a tool for changing patterns of thinking and behavior that hold you back from where you want to go. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is great for people who get stuck in cycles of negative thinking. Acceptance and commitment therapy helps with mental flexibility, mindfulness, and aligning values with actions. Psychodynamic therapy promotes self-growth by exploring the deep-rooted reasons underlying behaviors.

Don’t get discouraged if your first attempt at therapy isn’t a good fit. It usually takes a few tries to find the right therapist and modality for you. Luckily online therapy makes shopping around easy (not to mention COVID-safe).

Set and keep goals

Set your mind on achieving goals you’ve been putting off, like going back to school. Low-cost, flexible programs are available, and when you enroll in career-relevant online coursework you’re opening the door to career advancement and a higher income. Going the online route has many benefits, including the ability to go at your own pace wherever you wish, which allows you to continue working your job and tend to family matters without having to attend in-person classes on campus.

Pick up an outdoor activity

Are you spending more time indoors during the pandemic? You’re not alone. Some of that has been positive; however, all that time inside isn’t great for our health — and I’m not just talking about catching COVID-19. Indoor environments are a major source of air pollution and the more time we spend at home, notes The Verge, the worse it gets. Time indoors also promotes a sedentary lifestyle, contributes to vitamin d deficiency , and over time can even lead to a buildup of negative energy, stress, and unhealthy coping behaviors.

An outdoor hobby gives us a reason to spend more time outside, moving our bodies and soaking up the sunshine and warmth that’s so good for wellness. Walking and hiking, outdoor yoga, bicycling, rollerblading, gardening, and contact-free sports like tennis are safe options that don’t require a lot of money or experience to start. Of course, if fitness tops your agenda, working with a dedicated personal trainer can open a new door to customized fitness plans that work inside or outside. 

You can also invite the outdoors into your home. Open your windows daily to clear out stale, negative energy and let fresh air in. Invest in a few houseplants and remember to open the curtains each morning. It makes a bigger difference than you think.

Stay intentional about your relationships

In the beginning of the pandemic, we were hosting virtual game nights, video chatting with extended family, and sending postcards to old friends. But when restrictions began to lift, a lot of our efforts to stay connected slowed down.

As tempting as it is to fall back into solo time, relationships are important for our emotional well-being. I know that for me, the harder it feels to call a friend, the more I need it. Make a point to keep social engagements on the calendar and get into a safe social routine with your closest friends. Even if it’s just meeting up for a virtual coffee date once a week, seeing a friendly face boosts your spirits and makes life in a pandemic feel a little less lonely.

Make a point to also stay intentional about your relationships with coworkers, which is especially important if you’re all working from home. Isolation can be very difficult to manage with remote work, so finding ways to interact can boost morale, and it can add a regular dose of positivity that everyone needs right now. Consider too what else you can do to create more inclusivity for everyone, even if you’re far apart. 

Living through a pandemic has taught us a lot about ourselves and each other — like how resilient we are, how compassionate, and how much we can come together in a time of crisis. Yet there’s no denying this crisis has challenged us in many ways. As you look to the future, learn to let go of the things you can’t control and instead, focus on what you can do to keep life moving forward for yourself and the people you love.

The Fit Dallas Mom Blog is written by a mom, for moms. Read more informative articles today!

Written by guest writer Janice Russel

Introducing your kids to a new baby

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It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳

When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.

Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).

I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.

I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.

Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!

Break in truth

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Recently we had one of our vehicles broken in to. While it doesn’t seem like a huge deal other than stressful due to loss of items and damage of property, it’s actually a very violated feeling. It’s a weird feeling to know a complete stranger damaged your property, went through said property and then took your personal items. In our case they took a lot of items. Thousands of dollars worth. I’m sure you’re wondering why we would have so many expensive items in our car. Well, when you get home late and are tired, the last thing on your mind is to empty your vehicle in case of a break in. Also, our vehicle had limo tint on its windows, so it’s not exactly easy to just see in. Everything that was taken was not out in plain sight. It was in a glove box, center console or hidden under the seat.

It’s sad when you think about the world we live in now days. The fact that just locking your vehicle isn’t good enough any more. In all honesty, the neighborhood we were in isn’t exactly a safe neighborhood so we should have expected something like this to happen. But you never really expect it to happen to you.

I now have this constant fear. Will they come back? Were they watching the house or just the car? Are they still watching the house? No other cars on the block or in the neighborhood were hit. Just ours. Neighbors had vehicles on the street and in driveways. Not to be rude but there were vehicles on the street that seemed like an easier hit. Yet ours was the only one hit. It’s as if they were watching the house and saw that that night was the one night we didn’t bring in these items, which we normally always do. It was probably just a random hit, but it’s still scary. If they’ll hit a locked vehicle that’s parked next to a security camera, what’s keeping them from burglarizing a house? Yes I said it was parked next to a security camera. However nothing was caught on camera. The internet went down and the camera needs internet connection so it caught nothing. Just our luck right?

As frustrating as it is losing material items, the worst part is just the fear. Any feeling of safety and security I had is now gone. I’m sure over time it’ll ease, but I’ll never 100% feel safe anymore.

Working out in a mask

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I went to the gym for the first time in 6 months! It’s crazy to think masks are the new normal. However, I honestly don’t mind! I love that people aren’t sneezing and coughing all over the place. I actually haven’t been sick in months! By now I’ve normally had a cold at least once or twice. I swear it’s thanks to the masks I haven’t caught anything!

Working out with a mask on wasn’t exactly easy. The gym wasn’t very busy thank goodness so I took my mask off a few times. I do honestly really appreciate the distancing and cleaning required now. I hope it stays that way after all this corona stuff settles. Literally everyone in the gym wiped up and disinfected after they used a machine. It was great! Normally I’d see maybe a few people doing that. It was annoying because you have those sweaty people who use a machine and don’t care to take the time to wipe up after themselves. It was so gross. But now, everyone is cleaning! I love it!

I also really appreciate the distance requirement! I HATE when people stand too close to me in the gym. I like my personal space and when I workout I like to be left alone. By requiring 6 ft between people I get the space I’ve always wanted! It really it was like heaven for me.

I know wearing a mask, distancing and disinfecting is inconvenient for some, but I absolutely love it! Like I said, I hope life stays this way. It’s as if people have finally learned how to be clean respectful individuals

Goodbye to our house

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Call me crazy but one of the hardest things I’ve done lately is say goodbye to our house. Yes we are building a beautiful new house and we will make so many more memories in that one. But that doesn’t make letting go of this one any easier.

I’ve never been more attached to somewhere I’ve lived except one house I had when I was younger. I lived there from age 2-13. That house was incredibly hard for me to leave. I still drive by it when I happen to be anywhere near the area. I just have so many amazing memories at that house. I’m sure the people who own it have seen my car and wonder why this weird woman randomly stops by once a year (sometimes twice) to stare at their house.

As for our current house……Was this our forever home? No. I always knew that. I didn’t love the inside layout. I knew we’d outgrow it fast. But it’s where we brought our babies home from the hospital. We watched them learn how to crawl, stand and walk in that house. We watched them grow so fast in the short time we lived in it. There’s just so many memories in this house.

Before we left I did a few small things. I’m a sentimental person so I had to leave our mark before we left. Ryder loved our pond so much. So I took out one of the pond stones, wrote the boys names on it and placed it back in the water. Yes the water will eventually wear away at the writing, but we’ll always know it was there. In one of the closets back in a corner hidden from the eye, I wrote the letter of all of our first names. I also put a heart for the pups. I didn’t have enough room to put their letters so they got a heart instead. Yes I’m aware if the new homeowner goes to paint the closet they will paint over the writing. But again, we will know it was always there.

Goodbye was not easy for this house. I honestly never realized how attached I’d gotten to it. Signing the papers over to the new sellers was literally like a knife in my heart. But the buyers have a child around Ryders age so I know he is going to love the house and yard as much as we did. The idea of another child loving it makes the let go a little easier. I hope they have as many wonderful, fun memories in that house as we did. 💙

Home building struggles

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Our builder is having to put a camera near our house to keep an eye on our build and the others on the street.

During one visit we noticed a lot of bricks thrown all over the place and lots of broken beer bottles all over the site. My husband mentioned this to the builder and he said there were a couple thousand dollars of building material that had been damaged and stolen as well.

We came back a week later to find someone had gone muddling through our front yard and back yard. They tore up the lot next to us spinning out, then drove through the front of another house being built a few down from us. There wasn’t any major damage done thank goodness. They just tossed up a lot of dirt and mud. However they did get super close to the house. Had the mud shifted under them at a different angle and they could have hit our house.

It’s super frustrating but not surprising that people have messed with the job site. I’ve heard horror stories about things happening to people’s builds due to others damaging the property. At least the damage done to ours is just tossed bricks and glass. Better than someone going through and doing structural damage! I feel bad the builder had materials stollen. I just hope karma does her job and gets those thieves back.

Hopefully with cameras up, it will deter anyone from doing anything else they shouldn’t!

Living with mom after 30 😳

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Living with mom after 30….. Ok it’s not exactly as sad and pitiful as it sounds. 😂 We are building a house. In order to get our old house ready and on the market, we moved out of it.

We are redoing the kitchen floors and refinishing the downstairs hardwoods since the dogs nails destroyed them. We would have to be out for a week while all this got done, so we just moved into my moms house. Rather than move back and have to gather up both kids and two large dogs every time someone wanted to come view the house, we figured staying at my moms during the selling process was just easier. The idea of having to scramble to clean up a million toys and the mass amounts of dog hair before someone comes to see the house (possible multiple times a day) just gives me anxiety. Not to mention, with all this Coronavirus stuff still flying around, I don’t want to have to disinfect everything each time after someone views it.

So yup, I’m living with my mom after 30! But not in a sad and pitiful way! 😂 Do say a prayer that we don’t drive her crazy before the house is built. The boys and I are a lot to handle. Their toys alone have pretty much swallowed up every bit of free space the house had.🤷🏼‍♀️

When your kid says the “S” word

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Yesterday I took my kids on a walk around the neighborhood. There were a decent amount of people out and about. While walking, my 2 year old started yelling out “sh*t sh*t. I want to sh*t.” Yup, people looked at me like oh my gosh do you hear him? Ya I heard him! And I just laughed! 😂

Normally I’d freak out and tell him to stop immediately and explain to him why we don’t say that. But this quarantine has had me cooped up for too long. Momma just needed a good laugh. And I got one with this, because my kid wasn’t actually saying sh*t. He was saying SIT. He was tired and wanted to sit down. 😂

He’s 2. His words aren’t perfect. So to all the neighbors in Plano that heard my kid yelling out what they thought was a cuss word…..sorry? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Should I have corrected him? Maybe. But again he’s two, is just learning words, and momma needed that laugh 🤭

Lack of alone time

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The worst part about quarantine….zero alone time. And by alone time I mean me, by myself, with no one to talk to and nothing to think about. 🙄

I’m an independent person with more introvert characteristics than you’d think. I like to do things on my own and figure things out for myself. I also enjoy being alone sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband. But I’m one of those people who needs an hour or two to themselves just to relax and think about nothing important. It’s like hitting the reset button for me.

I lost most of my alone time when I became a stay at home mom. But what little I was holding on to is completely gone now thanks to this quarantine. I can’t even take a shower in peace without my husband opening the door to have a conversation or ask me questions. Or my toddler coming in to hand me a toy or ask for something. I know my child means no harm by it, and it’s sweet he wants to share a toy. But when you just want a moment of silence, a child standing there with the shower door open staring at you, isn’t the most relaxing.

Im trying to stay positive and remember that this quarantine wont last forever. We will go back to normal life eventually, and I’ll be able to go back to the gym and have an hour to myself. And if God wills it, maybe I’ll get an entire day to myself one day too to recover from all this 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

Vacation on hold

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I’m really itching for a vacation right about now. Our Mexico and DC trips were both canceled due to the Coronavirus. I’m not mad they were canceled. By no means do I want to be traveling right now with what’s going on. Even though our Mexico trip was at the start of the Corona spread, I still was uneasy about going. 😭

Although, it definitely stinks to get ready and packed for a vacation, then be told it’s not happening. I don’t love unpacking from a trip. But let me tell you, it way worse to unpack from a trip you never went on!

I’m not complaining though. I wasn’t ready to leave my boys just yet. Camden was only 7 months at the time we were supposed to go to Mexico. I know plenty of people travel without their children when they are at young ages. But I honestly just wasn’t ready for it. So the trip being canceled, while under terrible circumstances, worked in my favor. 💙

While I say I’m itching for a vacation, at this point I’d consider going anywhere outside of the house a vacation! 😂 I haven’t seen anything but my neighborhood (thanks to walks) and my house for the last few weeks. I could use a change of scenery. 😳