Introducing your kids to a new baby

It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳

When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.

Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).

I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.

I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.

Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!

Stay at home parents

One weekend my husband asked me what we had planned for the day. I told him nothing. We actually didn’t have anything scheduled. His exact response was “you mean we have nothing to do and are going to sit in the house ALL day?” I literally thought to myself “yes Chris we are, welcome to my life every day as a stay at home mom.”

Being a stay at home parent is NOT easy. Especially after having spent 8 years in a corporate job then a few years as a teacher. I was used to being around people. So it’s a very different world when you’re around one or two little ones all day, every day. We have our good days and bad at home. Obviously the bad days make it a lot harder on you mentally.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending every minute of every day with my kids. I love that I don’t miss a second of anything they do. But it is very difficult not seeing adults regularly or having any adults to converse with daily like you would at an office job. For a good two years my oldest didn’t really talk. I would actually leave the tv on all day to Friends just so I had the sound of adults to listen to.

Anyone who says being a stay at home mom is easy has clearly not done it or has stay at home amnesia and forgotten how difficult it is. It takes a toll on you physically and mentally. I’ll be honest, I think being a stay at home mom has been harder on me psychologically and emotionally than either of my previous jobs were.

If you are a stay at home mom(or dad), you deserve the biggest gift in the world. If you know a stay at home mom, remember to have empathy for them. They’re doing a thankless job that they love but also really wears on them.

Pregnancy Amnesia

Well I’m officially at 17 weeks. But I feel like I’m 7 months. I must have pregnancy amnesia because I don’t remember feeling this big and bloated with my other two kids. When I think about it, I honestly have forgotten almost everything (discomfort wise) when I was pregnant with my first two. I sort of remember feeling achy and having to pee a lot. But that’s all I remember. I have literally forgotten everything. Maybe that’s why I was ok having a third. I had forgotten all the pain and discomfort that came with the first two.

I do understand what they say about pregnancy being more difficult as you get older. One thing I do remember is having more energy with the other two than I do now. I definitely feel like I’m moving a lot slower this time around. Granted I am chasing after two little ones while pregnant so that definitely adds to the exhaustion. I’m also getting up earlier and staying up later than I would like. So I’m getting less sleep as well.

The exhaustion is definitely taking a toll on my body and making it harder to do things like workout. I remember wanting and liking to go workout with my first two. I had no issues working out other than just comfortably moving around thanks to my big belly. The motivation was there. This time around I have zero want to workout. Just thinking about workout makes me tired and I swear I can already feel my muscles start to ache even before I start.

I still have 5 months to go. A long 5 months! Somehow I need to find more energy and the ability to sleep. Definitely sounds a lot easier than it really is.

Food Aversions

This third baby is taking a toll on my diet. I swear I can’t eat anything without getting nauseous. With my second baby I was sick for maybe a month and it went away. But this time around it’s stretching a lot longer.

Strangely enough, the only things that don’t make me sick are: Ice cream, a tortilla with peanut butter, avocado toast, milk, pizza, cheese and vanilla cheerios. You’d think milk products wouldn’t be easy on the stomach and would make me sick. But weirdly enough they don’t bother it!

One strange food aversion I’m having that I had with our second baby is with chicken. I can’t eat chicken cooked at someone’s house. It literally makes me start gagging. I can’t even cook it myself without feeling sick. But I can eat chicken from a restaurant! There’s something about the smell of it cooking in the house that makes me sick. Since I can’t smell the chicken being cooked in the restaurant, it doesn’t bother me.

The first three months I was really battling with food. But now I’ve found a few items I can eat regularly with no major issue. So every day, I eat pretty much the exact same thing. I actually don’t mind it much because I’m a creature of habit and love schedules. I’ve always had my meals planned out days in advance so I’m not doing too much different than my usual other than being limited on foods.

This is definitely proof that every pregnancy is different! I’m learning as I go with each one!

Counting to 3

Ryder, my 3 year old, is in that rebellious toddler stage where he doesn’t want to do what he’s asked. He’s not overly mean about it or anything. He just ignores you and pretends like he never heard you. Even when you ask 10. So we have started doing the count to 3 method. It works every time. I will literally say 1 and he says “no no I’ll do it” or immediately begins doing what was asked of him. I don’t even have to count with my voice in a different tone. I just use my normal voice and he hops right to it like he knows it’s time to do what is asked of him.

But here’s the funny part…..I really have NO IDEA what happens if I ever get to 3. Literally no idea! He’s never gotten past 2. Every time I count I think to myself, omg please don’t let me get to 3 because I don’t know what to do next.

I know the day will come that he decides to push it and see what happens next. So I’ll definitely have to have a plan for when that happens. But for now I’m going to appreciate the fact that he does what’s asked of him before 2.

Potty Training….

How’s potty training going in our house? Well my toddler prefers to poop in the yard like the dogs instead of going in the toilet like a big boy. So I’d say it’s going well. We are just taking a small detour. 😂

My kid does things on his own time. He walked one month after crawling. He woke up one morning and started talking. He literally had me so worried he wasn’t going to talk. He got to 2 1/2 and still wasn’t talking. Then out of the blue he just decided ok today’s the day I’ll start talking and it hasn’t stopped!

So no I’m not pushing the potty training. I’m letting him do things on his own time. Would I like him to be potty trained right now? Absolutely! Diapers aren’t cheap. But often times when you try to force a kid to do something they won’t or actually take steps in the opposite direction. So I’m just letting him tell me when he’s ready. We encourage it and talk about it, but never force it.

I’m not exactly sure why he wants to poop in the yard. It is a little odd, I’ll admit that. But he does love his dog. And maybe he’s just intrigued by the fact that she does it outside. I don’t know. I’m just trying to laugh it off for now. Because one day when he’s older, and potty trained, it’ll be a great story to tell!

Lack of alone time

The worst part about quarantine….zero alone time. And by alone time I mean me, by myself, with no one to talk to and nothing to think about. 🙄

I’m an independent person with more introvert characteristics than you’d think. I like to do things on my own and figure things out for myself. I also enjoy being alone sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband. But I’m one of those people who needs an hour or two to themselves just to relax and think about nothing important. It’s like hitting the reset button for me.

I lost most of my alone time when I became a stay at home mom. But what little I was holding on to is completely gone now thanks to this quarantine. I can’t even take a shower in peace without my husband opening the door to have a conversation or ask me questions. Or my toddler coming in to hand me a toy or ask for something. I know my child means no harm by it, and it’s sweet he wants to share a toy. But when you just want a moment of silence, a child standing there with the shower door open staring at you, isn’t the most relaxing.

Im trying to stay positive and remember that this quarantine wont last forever. We will go back to normal life eventually, and I’ll be able to go back to the gym and have an hour to myself. And if God wills it, maybe I’ll get an entire day to myself one day too to recover from all this 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

9 months post baby #2

9 months pregnant on the left and 9 months post delivery on the right. I worked harder this second time around because I had a good handful of people tell me I’d never get by body back after the second baby. Or that it would be harder to get back into shape after the second baby. 🤔

I took those comments as a challenge. When someone tells me I can’t or won’t be able to do something, it makes me what to prove them wrong. So I pushed really hard this time.

I’m not 100% back to my pre pregnancy size. But almost all my clothes are back to fitting and that’s all I really wanted. I honestly haven’t weighed myself in a few months so I don’t even know my own weight. I’ve never been one to care about a number on a scale. I just kept a goal in my head to fit back into my clothes. Why? Because I hate shopping for clothes. I am not a person who enjoys going to the mall. If I have to shop I do it online so I can try things on in the comfort of my own home. But even so, I still hate clothes shopping. So, to avoid having to go out and buy new clothes, I just had to get myself back into my own clothes! And I did!

To the negative Nancy’s who told me I’d never get my body back after baby #2…… challenge accepted and won. What else ya got? 😉🤷🏼‍♀️

These days

Isn’t it funny the little things we take for granted…… I miss going to the gym whenever I wanted. I miss trips to the grocery store with my boys (they actually love it there). I miss taking my boys to play places and watching them play and laugh. I miss walking down to the park and letting my little one play on the slides. 😭

It’s a strange and sort of scary world we live in at the moment. We are doing our best to stay happy and positive, but it gets hard at times. I’ve actually had to stop watching and reading the news. It was making my anxiety so bad, which isn’t healthy for me or the kids. ❌

Right now my focus is just making sure we eat healthy, get some exercise, get fresh air, keep our distance from others, and just keep hope that the light at the end of this dark tunnel is near! ⭐️

Speech Therapy Update

Well, there’s nothing wrong with my kid! Not that I thought there was anything wrong exactly. But I did think he needed a little help with speech. We met with a speech therapist and a child psychologist last week. They said Ryder is incredibly bright for his age and has no developmental or speech delays. What seems to be a delay in speech is due to “choice speech.” Most kids learn single words to get what they want like milk, food, juice, etc. Ryder has learned to say “I want this” or “I want that” and to point to the specific item. So he just says one of those phrases instead of the word. They said with just a little work, his words will come in. We just have to try to get him to say the word rather than say the word for him. If he says “I want that” and points to goldfish, the goal is for him to say goldfish. So we are to ask “what is that” or “what’s the word for that.”

The speech pathologist said, although they aren’t saying he needs speech therapy, working with a speech therapist could help push him along to get additional words quicker. They even have a speech therapist that will come to our home and work together with Ryder and I if we decide we want to do it!

I’ll be honest, it’s a big relief to know Ryder has no developmental delays. Not that it’s a bad thing. I know speech delays are incredibly common. But it’s just one less thing to worry about. I hate the idea of him struggling with anything.