Yesterday was a rough day for this little munchkin. He got his two month shots. The post shot soreness was hard on him. You couldn’t touch his little legs without him crying in pain. The only comfortable way for him to lay was across my lap.
Those little cries are the hardest to hear. It literally broke my heart that I couldn’t make the aching stop for him.
He isn’t aching as much today. The shot spots are a little sore but it’s not causing him to cry (thank heavens).
I think not being able to take away their aches and pains is one of the hardest parts of motherhood💙
It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳
When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.
Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).
I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.
I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.
Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!
I had no idea what I was in for when I brought Cam home from the hospital. I knew it would be different but I didn’t realize HOW different.
The first week we brought Cam home, I cried multiple times. Not from depression or anything like that. Mainly due to feeling overwhelmed and as if I was letting Ryder down.
Ryder had been so used to having 100% of my attention all the time. When Cam came home that changed and he got maybe 30% of my attention. The rest was spent feeding Cam, changing him, etc. It was really hard on Ryder, which made it hard on me. I felt so guilty I couldn’t give either boy 100% of my attention. And it’s not easy to get a toddler to understand WHY they are no longer getting all of your attention. I had a significant amount of mom guilt.
I’ve been working hard to find ways to make more time for Ryder. While Cam naps I give Ryder my full attention. My house is completely neglected and doesn’t look like it’s clean self, but I don’t care. Ryder needs me as much as he can get during this new change.
I’ve also made Ryder my little “helper.” I ask him to help me do things for Cam. Like hand me a diaper, close the wipe warmer, put away a toy, sit with us, etc. He’s proud of himself when he’s able to help out. I can see a significant change in him from day 1 to now. He doesn’t side eye his brother anymore. Lol He actually goes over to him and looks at him. Sometimes he points at things like his foot or hand and says “what’s this?” It’s progress!
I knew it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be mentally and on my heart. I was just prepared for the physical aspect. This has been an eye opening experience. However, I don’t regret a minute of it. No matter how difficult, these boys are my world. 🌎
Baby update: The boys and I are slowly adjusting to life together. It’s definitely been an uphill battle. Routines have changed and the vibe in the house is very different. Even the dog is thrown off. 😂 But it’s a good different. Literally each day has a new challenge to work around and learn from. 👍🏻
Trying to get Cam and Ryder up and taken care of each morning definitely isn’t without its battles. They are both in a demanding stage and need so much of my attention. Also, a clean house isn’t the easiest task now. So I do my best just to make sure things don’t pile up. Showering is done if I’m lucky. I have to beg someone to watch the boys just to be able to rinse off. God only knows when I’ll be able to find the time to wash my hair again. Dreadlocks may be in my future! 😂
By no means am I complaining. I love the new changes in our life. And despite Ryder’s annoyed faces he gives Cam, I think he will settle in soon and realize Cam isn’t a threat. If my over possessive dog can be ok with Cam I know Ryder will be too (eventually). 🐶
When people ask what I need, my only request is positivity. I just need everyone to be positive and happy around me. If others around me are happy and positive, it helps keep my energy levels and positivity up. I focus more on the good and less on the things upsetting me or stressing me out. And trust me, with 2 little ones under two, the feeling of stress and being overwhelmed comes quick!