Goodbye to our house

Call me crazy but one of the hardest things I’ve done lately is say goodbye to our house. Yes we are building a beautiful new house and we will make so many more memories in that one. But that doesn’t make letting go of this one any easier.

I’ve never been more attached to somewhere I’ve lived except one house I had when I was younger. I lived there from age 2-13. That house was incredibly hard for me to leave. I still drive by it when I happen to be anywhere near the area. I just have so many amazing memories at that house. I’m sure the people who own it have seen my car and wonder why this weird woman randomly stops by once a year (sometimes twice) to stare at their house.

As for our current house……Was this our forever home? No. I always knew that. I didn’t love the inside layout. I knew we’d outgrow it fast. But it’s where we brought our babies home from the hospital. We watched them learn how to crawl, stand and walk in that house. We watched them grow so fast in the short time we lived in it. There’s just so many memories in this house.

Before we left I did a few small things. I’m a sentimental person so I had to leave our mark before we left. Ryder loved our pond so much. So I took out one of the pond stones, wrote the boys names on it and placed it back in the water. Yes the water will eventually wear away at the writing, but we’ll always know it was there. In one of the closets back in a corner hidden from the eye, I wrote the letter of all of our first names. I also put a heart for the pups. I didn’t have enough room to put their letters so they got a heart instead. Yes I’m aware if the new homeowner goes to paint the closet they will paint over the writing. But again, we will know it was always there.

Goodbye was not easy for this house. I honestly never realized how attached I’d gotten to it. Signing the papers over to the new sellers was literally like a knife in my heart. But the buyers have a child around Ryders age so I know he is going to love the house and yard as much as we did. The idea of another child loving it makes the let go a little easier. I hope they have as many wonderful, fun memories in that house as we did. 💙

Photos when you’re gone

I saw the best quote the other day. It reminded me a bit of my mom.

“One day, all your children will have is pictures of you. Make sure you’re in them. No matter what your hair looks like, your makeup, or your body. They won’t care about any of that. They will just want to see you.”

Looking back through photo albums I don’t have many pictures of me with my mom or even of just my mom. She is one of those people who is incredible critical of herself. So she wouldn’t be in pictures or let anyone take one of her if she didn’t feel she looks her best.

I’ve had days like that where I didn’t want my picture taken because I felt I looked like crap. But lately I’ve made a conscious effort to take pictures of me with my boys. I have days where I go a week without washing my hair, I have no makeup on and my shirt is stained with god know what one of them got on me. But I still join in on the picture. I don’t want them going back through photos and not having many or any of me. I want them to be able to look back at picture and remember me and the days we had together when I’m gone. 💙

I sneakily take a lot of pictures of my mom with my boys. 95% of them she would hate if she saw them. Only because of how critical she is of herself. But I don’t show them to her. I probably send her a few every so often. And of course only the ones I know she will approve of herself in. 😉 I take them so my boys will have them one day. So they will be able to go back and see pictures of Gramma and the things they did together.

We don’t know how long we will be on this Earth. Pictures are one of the few things we can leave behind to help our loved ones remember those special times. 💙