Living with mom after 30….. Ok it’s not exactly as sad and pitiful as it sounds. 😂 We are building a house. In order to get our old house ready and on the market, we moved out of it.
We are redoing the kitchen floors and refinishing the downstairs hardwoods since the dogs nails destroyed them. We would have to be out for a week while all this got done, so we just moved into my moms house. Rather than move back and have to gather up both kids and two large dogs every time someone wanted to come view the house, we figured staying at my moms during the selling process was just easier. The idea of having to scramble to clean up a million toys and the mass amounts of dog hair before someone comes to see the house (possible multiple times a day) just gives me anxiety. Not to mention, with all this Coronavirus stuff still flying around, I don’t want to have to disinfect everything each time after someone views it.
So yup, I’m living with my mom after 30! But not in a sad and pitiful way! 😂 Do say a prayer that we don’t drive her crazy before the house is built. The boys and I are a lot to handle. Their toys alone have pretty much swallowed up every bit of free space the house had.🤷🏼♀️
I saw the best quote the other day. It reminded me a bit of my mom.
“One day, all your children will have is pictures of you. Make sure you’re in them. No matter what your hair looks like, your makeup, or your body. They won’t care about any of that. They will just want to see you.”
Looking back through photo albums I don’t have many pictures of me with my mom or even of just my mom. She is one of those people who is incredible critical of herself. So she wouldn’t be in pictures or let anyone take one of her if she didn’t feel she looks her best.
I’ve had days like that where I didn’t want my picture taken because I felt I looked like crap. But lately I’ve made a conscious effort to take pictures of me with my boys. I have days where I go a week without washing my hair, I have no makeup on and my shirt is stained with god know what one of them got on me. But I still join in on the picture. I don’t want them going back through photos and not having many or any of me. I want them to be able to look back at picture and remember me and the days we had together when I’m gone. 💙
I sneakily take a lot of pictures of my mom with my boys. 95% of them she would hate if she saw them. Only because of how critical she is of herself. But I don’t show them to her. I probably send her a few every so often. And of course only the ones I know she will approve of herself in. 😉 I take them so my boys will have them one day. So they will be able to go back and see pictures of Gramma and the things they did together.
We don’t know how long we will be on this Earth. Pictures are one of the few things we can leave behind to help our loved ones remember those special times. 💙
I stumbled across the most amazing words the other day…..”We often lose our way when we compare ourselves to others. We lose our inspiration, motivation, and that ambitious drive. Compare yourself to no one. Not a single person. You are unique and what make you perfectly different is what sets you aside to crush those dreams.” ☁️
We as a society naturally compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature. Especially those of us that are extremely competitive in nature. While comparison can fuel you, it can also burn you. 🔥
You really should only compare you, to yourself. Compare your current self to your past self. Are you where you want to be? Are you meeting your goals? If not, do something about it! Only you can make the improvement in your life. 💙
Only the strongest friendships survive life. I say life because it’s not just the ups and downs. It’s everything in between. Finding a good friend is like finding your soul mate. It’s not easy and you go through so much to get there. But when you find that person, it’s like something clicks.
When we were little we were so focused on making lots of friends. I think it’s fantastic for little kids to be nice to everyone and want to be friends with everyone. But as an adult, that’s an unrealistic hope that we can be “friends” with everyone. I hate to say it, but not everyone wants to be your friend. And that’s totally ok! You just need to find those select few people that you click with.
As you age, if you notice your circle of friends getting smaller, don’t be alarmed! As we get older, people change. Our views and beliefs don’t always align and this can cause rifts in relationships. Some people’s ability to accept can make it difficult and put strain on a relationship. Also, people have different life paths. Sometimes friendships dissolve without any actual problems. People just lose touch. It’s normal for life to get in the way.
My best friend and I don’t have the same views on everything. But we respect each other’s view even if it’s not fitting for us personally. We do however have the same values and similar (not the same) goals in life. We are both very supportive of each other in every aspect of life. That is part of what makes our relationship great. Without a strong support system you will find yourself feeling lost and maybe a bit alone.
Find that friend who encourages you and brings positive light to your life. Someone who can laugh with you at the stupid things. Someone who loves you even at your worst. Those are the friendships that will bring you support, strength and happiness. Find someone who makes you a better person.
If you could go back and “redo and undo” parts of your life, what would they be?
Me? I would undo some arguments with my parents. Now having a child, I understand a little more. They weren’t being “mean.” They we’re trying to protect me and teach me a lesson. They wanted me to make the right decisions. However, if I’d done what they said and made the “right” decision, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. But I do regret some of the ways I talked to my parents. Yes I know teenagers and young adults have their moments, and it’s expected. But I hate to be “expected.” I think I’d like to keep the arguments but undo my words and tone if I could.
I think for the most part I was a good rule follower growing up. I did my best to do as my parents said. I never liked the feeling of disappointing them. When I disappointed them, I think I was harder on myself than they were on me. I think that’s the gymnast in me. There’s something about gymnasts and toughness. They internalize a lot, are critical of themselves, and are typically harder on themselves than others.
My “undo” would be to undo some friendships. There were some toxic friendships in my life I probably could have done without. Although, if I hadn’t had those friendships, would I be the person I am today? Probably not. I learned a lot about me, about other people, about life and how you should treat a friend.
So ultimately maybe nothing should be undone. But again, I wish I could redo the tone and wording of some conversations. Lesson learned though in the end.
What would you redo and undo if you could? Could you find things that you could absolutely redo/undo or are you like me and know you probably needed the lesson that came with the choices originally?