These days

Isn’t it funny the little things we take for granted…… I miss going to the gym whenever I wanted. I miss trips to the grocery store with my boys (they actually love it there). I miss taking my boys to play places and watching them play and laugh. I miss walking down to the park and letting my little one play on the slides. 😭

It’s a strange and sort of scary world we live in at the moment. We are doing our best to stay happy and positive, but it gets hard at times. I’ve actually had to stop watching and reading the news. It was making my anxiety so bad, which isn’t healthy for me or the kids. ❌

Right now my focus is just making sure we eat healthy, get some exercise, get fresh air, keep our distance from others, and just keep hope that the light at the end of this dark tunnel is near! ⭐️

Speech Therapy Update

Well, there’s nothing wrong with my kid! Not that I thought there was anything wrong exactly. But I did think he needed a little help with speech. We met with a speech therapist and a child psychologist last week. They said Ryder is incredibly bright for his age and has no developmental or speech delays. What seems to be a delay in speech is due to “choice speech.” Most kids learn single words to get what they want like milk, food, juice, etc. Ryder has learned to say “I want this” or “I want that” and to point to the specific item. So he just says one of those phrases instead of the word. They said with just a little work, his words will come in. We just have to try to get him to say the word rather than say the word for him. If he says “I want that” and points to goldfish, the goal is for him to say goldfish. So we are to ask “what is that” or “what’s the word for that.”

The speech pathologist said, although they aren’t saying he needs speech therapy, working with a speech therapist could help push him along to get additional words quicker. They even have a speech therapist that will come to our home and work together with Ryder and I if we decide we want to do it!

I’ll be honest, it’s a big relief to know Ryder has no developmental delays. Not that it’s a bad thing. I know speech delays are incredibly common. But it’s just one less thing to worry about. I hate the idea of him struggling with anything.

Speech Therapy

My oldest is needing to start speech therapy. He doesn’t have as many words as other kids his age and sometimes struggles to form words. So the doctor recommended speech therapy to help us along.

We took him to a facility in Dallas and were super excited the day of. I was so positive and felt like ok here we go, we are going to get answers and some help.

I pulled up to the building and thought, no way this can be the facility. Walking in to the building I should have just turned back around and got in the car. The building looked sketchy. It was an old office building with no relation to anything medical. The waiting room was tiny and had only a few toys. It looked like someone brought some of their kids old stuff and just stuck it in the corner as a last minute thought. Not what I would have expected at a facility for kids. But I kept brushing it aside and telling myself not to judge the place because the therapist could be awesome. (Continue reading on my blog. Link in my about me)

We met the therapist and she brought us back to a tiny, hot room. We tried to ignore the temperature and just focus on Ryder. We were originally told to expect to be there an hour and a half to two hours for testing. That was not the case this time. We were there only 40 minutes. The therapist didn’t really interact with Ryder. She read us questions off a piece of paper. She literally had to reread a few questions to herself as if she didn’t understand the question! She kept leaving the room and coming back with more paperwork. It was completely disorganized and my stress level started to heighten. I was feeling zero comfort in that place.

She gave me a “score” for Ryder’s verbal comprehension and actual spoken words. The verbal comprehension score didn’t make sense or seem accurate. She hadn’t interacted with my son so there was no real way to give a score. Taking a score based off questions she asked us is not accurate.

I asked next steps and what we were to do from here. Expecting her to have a game plan or a step by step process as well as things to do at home. Her exact words were “I don’t know why he isn’t talking. We can run him through tests and see if we can figure it out.” I’m sorry but “I don’t know” isn’t any answer a doctor or anyone should ever give you! There are other ways to say you are unsure. And the fact that “running some tests” is your game plan shows you are disorganized. There should be exact next steps you take (a protocol of some sort.) I assume Ryder isn’t their first case of delayed speech. But it must be for them to not have an organized plan of next steps.

I left the facility feeling terrible and thinking to myself “I can just do this on my own.” Ive never felt so let down in my life. This is not the outcome I was hoping for. I was at least hoping for some sort of plan. Or maybe some sort of an answer. But I got nothing outside of an “I don’t know.”

Thank god for my gym. Lol I get a great workout, I feel at home there and there’s other mothers I talk to regularly. One of which who ran her daughter through similar testing but used the state of Texas’ services. She explained what they did step by step and how they worked with her and her daughter on the first visit. It was significantly different than my visit and way more of a positive one. I feel a glimmer of hope after talking to her.

I’ve reached out to the facility she used and was beyond impressed! They were so detailed in their step by step process! I had a 15 minute conversation with the woman on the phone just discussing Ryders needs and what the plan was for the first visit and everything after. This was SO different from the first place. I am really excited to get in there this week and see how they can help our little guy!!

Cardio vs Weights

Pretty proud of the progress in these pics. The one on the left is from 2014. I did two hours of cardio a day (one in the gym and one walking the dog), little to no weights and was super restrictive with my diet. I weighed my food, counted calories and avoided oils, salts, sugar, etc.

The picture on the right is current. I do all weights, very little cardio (used as a cool down) and eat what I want (within reason.) Plus add in taking care of an infant and chasing around a toddler as my extra exercise. My diet consists of lots of protein, veggies, fruit, carbs, etc. I don’t avoid anything. I have something sweet maybe twice a week. I don’t drink sodas or juice like drinks, but honestly I’ve never been a fan of them so that makes it a bit easier.

My degree is in Sports Sciences. I took nutrition and biomechanics classes for years. I knew better than to do two hours of cardio and diet restrict. But I still did it. When I was in my 20’s I was impatient. I wanted quick results. Now at 34, I’ve learned when it comes to health and fitness you have to be patient. I’m finally taking my own advice. The advice I gave to people for years but ignored myself. Better late than never! Lol

Camden’s second flight

Camden’s second flight!

He did so great on the plane. We booked ourselves on the earliest flight so he slept the entire time and only woke up just a few minutes before landing.

We looked a bit ridiculous when we got our bags from baggage claim. We literally had 7 bags. 😂 But in our defense, one bag was the stroller, one was the car seat, and one was the golf clubs. So technically only 4 of them had clothing and other items. I of course needed his diaper bag, my husband brought his one bag, then I had to bring two bags. I packed Camden’s doc-a-tot in my large bag and it literally took up over half the bag. So a second small roller bag was necessary to fit our clothes. However, it was a bit comical to see two people and a baby with 7 bags. Thank god we flew with two friends because they were able to help us out.

This whole flying with an infant thing is becoming a breeze! As long as you schedule flights around sleep times, it makes it so much easier and less stressful!

Life with two young kids

Life with two young kids….. 👶🏻 👶🏻

Yesterday the day started with one kid peeing ON my pillow. I’m still debating on whether to put it in the wash and bleach it or call it a loss and just throw it away. 🛌

It was then followed by Ryder taking off his shorts and diaper and running naked through the house. He was kind enough to take me by the hand and show me where he peed on the floor during his streaking episode. 🚽

Ryder’s new thing is sticking his hands down his pants…..we knew the day would come as it does with every little boy. However, we have started with the back side of our pants. It took all my energy not to fall over laughing when ryder stuck his hands down into his diaper, only to remember he had just pooped. He pulled his hands out and they were covered with poop. It was HILARIOUS to see the look on his face. Then I realized I had to clean him up. It stopped being funny…… 🧼

That afternoon Ryder decided he wanted to have a party while I was changing Camden’s diaper. He went into the pantry and took out the paper plates and flung them all over the kitchen. He then took out the remaining plastic wine glasses from a previous party and lined them up on the floor. He filled those glasses with animal crackers from his snack bowl. The dog decided to join the party and ate some of the animal crackers. He also took out any boxed food item and stacked them as high as he could. 🐶

During another of Camden’s diaper changes, Ryder thought it would be funny to go in the closet, shut the door and sit quietly giving mommy a heart attack as she ran around the house panicked trying to find him. 🚪

Dinner consisted of 75% of the meal ending up in Ryder’s lap or on the floor. (We are still trying to master our silverware skills.) So of course right before bed he was starving and asking for more food. Guess what I gave him……the remaining animal crackers in the plastic cups! 😂

Would I say this was a bad day? No. It was definitely a battle of a day but not our worst! We are all in one piece still. So I’d say it was just one of our more “busy” days. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Rest when you’re dead….

Tired….So tired….I’m woken up every morning at 3am, 4am and 5am to the dogs pacing. The clicking of their nails on the hard wood is the most annoying noise in the world. I swear they do it just to annoy me some days. 🐕

Then at 5:45am Ryder decides he wants to get up. I have a full day of chasing a toddler around till 9pm. I never in my life would have guessed how exhausting it is chasing around a small human and picking up the tornado like destruction they leave behind. It seriously is a lot of bending over and lifting. 👶🏻

I’m in bed at 10:30pm only to wake up at 3am by the dogs again. It’s a never ending cycle. Combine that with pregnancy aches and pains and I am one miserable human. I keep praying for one morning to just sleep in till at least 7am and not be woken by the dogs, pregnancy pains or Ryder. But then I realize that’s wishful thinking. So I keep telling myself when I’m dead I’ll finally get to rest. 😂

Travel Season

Travel season is here! For me at least. I’m right in the thick of cheerleading season. Im judging roughly one competition every other weekend. I’m traveling a little less this year than last year because of the new baby and Ryder. It is incredibly hard to sit at a competition for hours on end while pregnant. My back starts to hurt and my legs and feet swell from non movement. Not to mention sitting makes you tired and you’re already so tired from being pregnant as it is!

It’s also getting harder to leave Ryder. He’s becoming so aware of things. He knows when I leave for short periods and long periods. It’s one thing to leave him with a grandparent for an hour and come back to him. It’s a totally different feel knowing I’m leaving him for a weekend. It’s so hard to see his sad little face when I go.

How working parents and parents who travel for work say goodbye to their child every day is beyond me. You guys have some thick skin! Y’all deserve a medal. I’m such a weenie. There’s no way I could do this regularly. I’d be crying and just all out of sorts daily.