Tag Archives: first time Mom

Introducing your kids to a new baby

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It’s hard to believe this was just 3 years ago! My little guy has gotten so big so fast. In a few short months we will be a family of 5! Fingers crossed Ryder handles baby #3 a little better than he did with Camden.😳

When I first brought Camden home from the hospital, if you were holding him, Ryder would just sit there and give you dirty looks. He would refuse to come near anyone that was holding Camden. He would actually tell me to put Camden down. He was not a fan. That first month was definitely one of the hardest I’d ever experienced. It broke my heart that Ryder had such a hard time.

Hopefully now that he’s been around Camden so long he understands that a new baby isn’t a “threat.” He’s so good with Camden now and even tries to share with him (sometimes).

I did screw up with Ryder in the beginning when I had Camden. I thought after Camden was born I needed to give Ryder a ton of attention to make up for the shared attention that was about to happen. People kept telling me Ryder was going to get jealous and would need a lot of individual attention. I shouldn’t have listened to them.

I had my mom spend a lot of time with Ryder as well thinking that individual attention was needed because of everyone’s comments. That actually made Ryders jealousy worse. When he actually did spend time around Camden and I, it was really bad. He just couldn’t handle it and would have melt downs and be extremely upset. What I should have done is let Ryder spend time around just me and Camden the minute I brought him home. I should have gotten him used to being around Camden right away so he could see he and baby will both get my attention. I think if I’d done that, it may have not taken so long for Ryder to adjust to Camden. By giving him too much individual attention, it’s what he expected all the time and wasn’t getting used to having to share.

Obviously now things are ok. We have our days where one kid needs more attention than the other. But for the most part they both understand they have to share moms attention and that they will both get the attention they need. I definitely learned a lot that first time around. I think I have the hang of it this second time. Fingers crossed!

Mistakes

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I realize now that I made quite a few “mistakes” with Ryder. Mistake might not be the best word to use since everything really was a learning experience. I’m just realizing now, I maybe should have done some things a different way than I originally did. Although, how are you to really learn/know without a little trial and error? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can follow all the baby books and advice you want. But not everything “recommended” will work for your child. Sometimes you just have to throw out the books, ignore what everyone says (except your doctor) and just try your own thing! Your first child is like the experiment child. You figure it out as you go! 👶🏻

I get less anxiety when Camden cries. When Ryder would cry I would immediately panic to try to figure out what he wanted/needed. I actually caused myself unnecessary stress. With Cam I just listen. He has certain cries to give me cues if he’s hungry, tired, etc. Sometimes he just cries for a minute as if he’s confused as to what he wants. I let him do his thing and then he’s done as if nothing happened.

I’ve also got this diaper changing thing down now! I get peed on less and I’m more prepared for the projectile poops! I know the wall appreciates it. It saw its fair share of poop splatter the first time around!

Ryder has been the best little guinea pig a mom could ask for! I was way more prepared this second time around and definitely a bit more confident thanks to him. 😂💙

Remember tomagotchi and nano babies?

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Anyone have a tomagotchi or nano baby growing up? Yeah me too. I was obsessed with mine in JH. They had to ban them at our school because kids were playing with them during class. Little did they know a few years down the road cellphones would take over their classrooms.

Those little digital animals and babies were addicting. I took as good of care of that thing as I did my actual living dog. I swear those things are what helped prepare me for motherhood. Go ahead and laugh. But think about it. Your goal was to keep the digital pet/baby alive. That’s EXACTLY what you do with your own child. We all say we are going to focus on reading them the best books, feeding them healthy nourishing foods foods, creating the perfect routines, etc. But reality is, we are all just trying to keep them alive, unharmed and fed. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is.

Kids aren’t easy. My little nano baby was definitely a cake walk compared to my toddler. However, I love him more than anything and love every minute of my life with him. So I guess I should thank my little nano baby for giving me the determination and patience to keep his little digital self going. It’s the same determination and patience I have with Ryder every day. Ok maybe not exactly the same but my nano baby definitely was a good start to learning. Who says technology can’t teach you something! 😉

Getting your body back

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I think it’s funny when I hear someone say “You’re going to have to work harder to get your body back after this second baby.” It makes me laugh every time I hear it. Is my body going somewhere? Did it get lost? 😂

Having a baby doesn’t mean you LOSE your body. Yes your body changes but it’s still there! People keep telling me it’s harder to get back to your old shape after baby number two. Is it really? Or is that just an excuse we use?

I actually liked my body better after I had Ryder. It took me some time to lose the extra baby weight but I like to think I bounced back pretty well. I wasn’t one of those IG moms who got back to pre baby size in 5 months. It took me a full year. But I did it and I was beyond proud of myself and loved how I looked. No I don’t have my 20 year old body. I probably never will and I’m ok with that. But this 33 year old body is pretty resilient and it’s been good to me.

I think this time around I’m going to enjoy myself (and food). I was so paranoid while pregnant with ryder, that I wouldn’t get back to my original size. I put so much stress on myself mentally, that I don’t think it was very healthy. Now I know I can get back to a good size with a bit of hard work. So I’m not going to stress this time. I don’t plan to go overboard and eat everything in sight and skip workouts! But I will treat myself if I want! And if my body is too drained to workout, rather than force myself to go to the gym, I’ll rest. I can try again the next day. Everything in moderation and at my own pace.💙

Everyone has an opinion

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Everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to give you advice when you have a child. Some people’s advice can be helpful and others can be confusing and strange. I personally try not to listen too much when people give me their unsolicited advice. I don’t do it because I’m trying to be rude, it’s just that I’m someone who would rather find their own way. I like to figure things out on my own. I learn better that way.

Not everything that works for one child will work the same for all. Every child is different. When I first had Ryder I took a few peoples advice and tried what they recommended. It didn’t workout well. It either upset him more or just did let have a affect. That’s when I made my decision to just ignore the advice of others and find my own way as I went. There were a few people I listened to, like my doctor and my mother, but I tried to filter out all the other random advice.

I still laugh when I remember being at an event and someone asked me if Ryder was crawling yet. I told them that he skipped crawling and went right from army crawling to cruising. She got a look or horror on her face and said “oh my gosh he’s going to be behind developmentally. You need to get him to crawl.” I have no idea what look was on my face when she said that. But I replied by telling her my doctor said crawling is no longer considered a milestone because so many kids skip over it. Her reply was “I guess times have changed.” Lord! Imagine if my doctor hadn’t told me that. I might have panicked and thought something was wrong with my child! This is exactly why you need to take peoples comments and advice with a grain of salt.

When someone gives you advice or makes a comment about what your child should be doing at a certain stage, take it as you want (unless it’s your doctor). Use it or just forget about it. It’s your child and you are free to raise them as you please. You’re their momma (or daddy) and your instincts will tell you what you should do. Go with what YOU think is best. It’s all a learning process and no one is perfect!

Never under estimate a toddler

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I used to think the infant stage was going to be the most difficult part of having a new baby. I figured because they were so little they were going to take so much time and energy.

Go ahead and laugh all you veteran moms. Yeah yeah I was SO wrong. Infants are easy! They eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom with little movement. I say little movement because they aren’t walking and depending on age, just learning to crawl. I could put Ryder in a front carrier and get so much done around the house when he was really little! He would just sit and watch or fall asleep!

A toddler, now that’s a whole different story! They get into everything! What little free moments I had before are now gone. I spend most of my day chasing him around making sure he doesn’t hurt himself. That and picking up whatever he’s torn up or pulled down. I swear the minute I get something put away, he’s already gotten in to 3 other things! By the time his bedtime hits, I’m ready for bed too!

Forget having a clean house. Those days are over. I’m just happy if we can get through a day where he doesn’t get hurt or the house is torn apart too much. I’m sure someone is shaking their head at me for saying I hope we can get through a day without injury. You’d understand if you took care of my kid for a day. Baby proofing has nothing on this kid. He will get the dog to lay down so he can stand on her to reach for something high above him. Never under estimate a one year old.

Every day is something new. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love every messy, exhausting minute of it. We have our good days too I promise! 😉

The secret to losing weight

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I want to lose weight, how did you do it?” This is a common question I get from my friends and former athletes (I’m a cheer coach). There isn’t this huge secret of how to do it. I’m not wasting money on products that claim to make you lose weight. I just watch what I eat and I make sure to workout. That’s literally it!

If you aren’t losing weight and you have been trying, these are some reasons that may be affecting you!…..

1. You aren’t being patient. Losing weight won’t happen over night. It would be awesome if it did, but that’s unfortunately not how the body works. For some it takes weeks, others months. Everyone’s body is different.

2. You are comparing yourself to others rather than comparing yourself to where YOU started.

3. Too many cheat meals. Are you eating good during the week then eating everything in sight on the weekend? Or are you adding in too many cheat meals during the week? Cheat meals are great! They’re a good shock for your body. They’re also a great reward for yourself. However doing too many that are too high in fat and calorie will set you back.

4. Water retention. I’ve explained it before in a past post. When you lose weight your body depletes itself of fat cells. However the fat pockets that held the fat cells take a while to diminish so your body fills them with water till it can get rid of them.

5. Eating the wrong things. Some foods are deceiving. We claim them as healthy but in too big of amounts they can actually have reverse effects

6. You’re only doing cardio and not building muscle to burn fat. Cardio burns both fat and muscle. Cardio is fantastic for building endurance but it’s not the only thing you should be doing in your workout routine. Weight training builds lean muscle mass, which elevates your metabolism and burns more fat, even when you’re not exercising!

7. Calorie Deficit. By definition this is reducing the amount of calories consumed relative to the amount of calories required for maintenance of body weight. Multiple your body weight by 10-12 (depending on your activity level. I do 12 since I lift and do cardio weekly) Recalculate every 2-4 weeks as you lose weight.

If you’re struggling to lose weight, don’t give in and go buy diet pills or the teas that claim you’ll lose a ton of weight fast. Work with your body. You’ll be amazed what it can do on its own when you fuel it properly and workout!

My Job

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In my opinion I have the best job in the world. Never did I think I would say that about being a stay at home mom. Now do note, I didn’t say anything about it being easy. I just said it’s the best.

I spend every day with my little man from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be a stay at home mom. I was always someone who was so career driven. I worked in marketing for 7 years designing digital marketing pieces for the automotive industry. I then went on to follow my true calling and become a teacher. I loved teaching. Being in the classroom can be so rewarding (and such a beat down at the same time). But when given the option to continue teaching and put my little one in daycare or stay home with him, I of course jumped at the thought of staying home with him. Nothing against people who’s kids are in daycare! My parents worked and had to do daycare so I totally understand. However, the idea of being with my little guy every minute of every day was exactly what I wanted. I never miss anything. Every little milestone I’ve been there to see (and gotten most on film for my husband).

When people ask if I miss working I make sure to correct them. I am working. Raising a child isn’t easy. There’s so much that goes into it. I swear you’re constantly following them around or chasing them to make sure they don’t injure themselves too bad. Unfortunately I don’t get paid to do this job. But it’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever done in my life. Do I miss working in marketing and teaching? Absolutely. There were fantastic things about each of those I loved. But nothing compares to the job I have now.

Costco pee incident

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Yesterday was not our best day. Talk about a new Mom fail……Somehow my child decided that our Costco run would be the best time to fill his diaper. While walking around Costco I had him in the front carrier (baby Bjorn). I felt a little wetness on my leg. I was in the cooler area with the fruit so I figured something dripped from above. A few minutes later while walking down the diaper isle I felt my entire right thigh become soaked. I felt under Ryder and he was drenched. So was the carrier. In a panic I almost just left my cart and walked out. But then I remembered I needed that stuff from Costco (obviously the diapers). So I was forced to wait in line with pee soaked pants and a pee soaked child attached to me.

In hind sight I probably should have checked his diaper after we left our lunch date. But in my defense, he never fills a clean diaper in a matter of an hour! Lesson learned. Never underestimate your child’s peeing abilities!