Category Archives: Mom Truth

The secret to losing weight

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I want to lose weight, how did you do it?” This is a common question I get from my friends and former athletes (I’m a cheer coach). There isn’t this huge secret of how to do it. I’m not wasting money on products that claim to make you lose weight. I just watch what I eat and I make sure to workout. That’s literally it!

If you aren’t losing weight and you have been trying, these are some reasons that may be affecting you!…..

1. You aren’t being patient. Losing weight won’t happen over night. It would be awesome if it did, but that’s unfortunately not how the body works. For some it takes weeks, others months. Everyone’s body is different.

2. You are comparing yourself to others rather than comparing yourself to where YOU started.

3. Too many cheat meals. Are you eating good during the week then eating everything in sight on the weekend? Or are you adding in too many cheat meals during the week? Cheat meals are great! They’re a good shock for your body. They’re also a great reward for yourself. However doing too many that are too high in fat and calorie will set you back.

4. Water retention. I’ve explained it before in a past post. When you lose weight your body depletes itself of fat cells. However the fat pockets that held the fat cells take a while to diminish so your body fills them with water till it can get rid of them.

5. Eating the wrong things. Some foods are deceiving. We claim them as healthy but in too big of amounts they can actually have reverse effects

6. You’re only doing cardio and not building muscle to burn fat. Cardio burns both fat and muscle. Cardio is fantastic for building endurance but it’s not the only thing you should be doing in your workout routine. Weight training builds lean muscle mass, which elevates your metabolism and burns more fat, even when you’re not exercising!

7. Calorie Deficit. By definition this is reducing the amount of calories consumed relative to the amount of calories required for maintenance of body weight. Multiple your body weight by 10-12 (depending on your activity level. I do 12 since I lift and do cardio weekly) Recalculate every 2-4 weeks as you lose weight.

If you’re struggling to lose weight, don’t give in and go buy diet pills or the teas that claim you’ll lose a ton of weight fast. Work with your body. You’ll be amazed what it can do on its own when you fuel it properly and workout!

Small changes

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Some people expect to see huge changes and major progress milestones when they start on a new diet and workout. For some this may happen. For others it’s a slow progression. I think you should celebrate even the smallest milestone.

These two pictures were taken three months apart. I started back on my daily apple cider vinegar and made a few small changes in my diet. The skin on my stomach (where my pregnant belly was) has tightened a bit and I’ve lost an inch around my hips/waist. An inch may not seem like a lot to most people but for me it is. I’m not exactly a big human. I’m 5’3 128lbs and have a BMI under 22. I’m what you’d consider average size for a fit person. I don’t want to lose a ton of weight. Sure, I have a little I could shave off. But mainly my goal is to build a little more muscle and maintain my size. I try not to focus too much on the scale. Weight can be irrelevant to some of us. On a “normal” health-line chart, I am considered overweight for someone my height. HOWEVER the general average doesn’t factor in muscle. So my weight may seem heavy on this scale but it’s due to the muscle I have “weighing me down.” Not a bad problem to have!

I always tell friends, be careful when weighing yourself. Your scale isn’t telling you your muscle to fat ratio (unless you have one of those fancy scales 😂). If you’re working out and eating well, and see the numbers go up, do not freak out!! When your body starts to burn fat, those fat pockets deplete themselves of fat cells and fill up with water till the body shrinks them and they all together disappear (for some). Not to mention you’re probably putting on some muscle which will add to that extra weight. Base your size off your clothing! Are your pants starting to fit a little looser? Maybe they actually fit better now! It all depends on where you started. Everyone is different. Try not to compare yourself to others too much (I know easier said than done). Your body type is different than everyone else’s. No two people are the same. What works for some might not work for all.

Measure yourself, monitor your clothing changes, do whatever helps you to see those small but big changes. Celebrate even the littlest milestone. You deserve it!

Using negative comments as fuel

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In college after I stopped cheering (yes I was a college cheerleader. Go Tech!), I needed an outlet. I loved to workout but it wasn’t enough at the time. I was so used to the thrill of being on the field during football games in front of 80k people. I wanted that thrill again. A trainer at the gym I was going to approached me and asked if I’d ever competed in a fitness/figure competitions. After talking to him a bit I thought ok this could be the thrill I need! I told a few good friends at the time what my plan was and almost all were supportive. Some were confused and thought I was getting into body building (not that it’s a bad thing, BB just isn’t for me). One friend actually said to me “you already look like a man with the muscle you have, why make it worse?” That comment would make a lot of people insecure. Not me. I saw it as a challenge. I thought, I’ll show you worse! And by worse I meant more lean and fit! I had muscle but it was thin muscle. My legs were muscular from tumbling and stunting. My arms were sculpted but not huge. So I used this negative comment as fuel.

I competed in my first figure competition that year and loved it! It was the scariest most exciting feeling ever! I’d never felt anything like that in my life! It’s one thing to stand in front of 80k people in a crop top uniform and tiny skirt and have them all lookin at you. It’s another thing to be in a swimsuit and have them literally judging your body! I remember shaking like a leaf up there. But I was so proud of myself after I finished. I took 9th out of 26. Not great but not horrible for my first time around. Not to mention I knew nothing about diet at the time so I was just winging it!

Looking back on old pictures now I still don’t see where the muscle I had “looked like a man.” I’m bigger now than I was then when I started. I have to think that person was just insecure and jealous themselves.

Now days I don’t compete on a competition stage but I do push myself in the gym like I used to. I love to look in the mirror and see muscle. In my mind I think back to that former friend and the comment they made and it makes me smile. They saw man muscles. Well guess what, my husband loves it. He actually told someone the other day his wife was jacked. To a fitness lover that just makes your heart melt.

Forget the negative Nancy’s of the world. Don’t let them tear you down. If you’re like me, use it as fuel! The only thing that matters is what you think, and of course the positive people around you who will lift you up!

Toilet paper, baby and a dog

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Never in my life did I think I would come to hate the sight of toilet paper. Don’t freak out I’m not about to discuss anything gross.

What do you get when you have a baby, a dog and a roll of toilet paper?…….a HUGE mess that you are stuck cleaning for days.

So recently Ryder discovered the toilet paper holder in the guest bath. He loves to pull the toilet paper off the roll. I don’t know how he does it. I turn my back for just a few seconds and a full roll of toilet paper goes from the roll to the floor. I’ve learned that while this happens, he shreds a few pieces too and keeps them in his mouth or hands. He then distributed these little pieces all over the house without me looking!

This is not where it ends! My dog LOVES the cardboard part of the toilet paper roll. So she will take it and “burry” it in random places in the house. Guests have found toilet paper rolls between the cushions of our sofas when visiting.

Needless to say, this game of theirs goes on for days. I say that because I’m the one cleaning up the little pieces of toilet paper and hunting down the hidden cardboard roll. It was cute the first two times. Not so much anymore 🤦🏼‍♀️

My Job

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In my opinion I have the best job in the world. Never did I think I would say that about being a stay at home mom. Now do note, I didn’t say anything about it being easy. I just said it’s the best.

I spend every day with my little man from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be a stay at home mom. I was always someone who was so career driven. I worked in marketing for 7 years designing digital marketing pieces for the automotive industry. I then went on to follow my true calling and become a teacher. I loved teaching. Being in the classroom can be so rewarding (and such a beat down at the same time). But when given the option to continue teaching and put my little one in daycare or stay home with him, I of course jumped at the thought of staying home with him. Nothing against people who’s kids are in daycare! My parents worked and had to do daycare so I totally understand. However, the idea of being with my little guy every minute of every day was exactly what I wanted. I never miss anything. Every little milestone I’ve been there to see (and gotten most on film for my husband).

When people ask if I miss working I make sure to correct them. I am working. Raising a child isn’t easy. There’s so much that goes into it. I swear you’re constantly following them around or chasing them to make sure they don’t injure themselves too bad. Unfortunately I don’t get paid to do this job. But it’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever done in my life. Do I miss working in marketing and teaching? Absolutely. There were fantastic things about each of those I loved. But nothing compares to the job I have now.

Cheat meals

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Ryder and I spent the weekend eating and hanging around the house. We ate practically everything in sight. Ok maybe that was just me. Needless to say my body definitely doesn’t bounce back as fast as it did in my 20’s! I’ve been a bit bloated these last two days so I’m glad to be back to my clean eating schedule. Do I regret or feel guilty about the food I ate this weekend? Absolutely not! I eat clean and lean 75% of the time. The other 25% of the time I choose to enjoy and eat as I please. I’m not one who will completely deprive themselves of good food.

I think some people’s biggest downfall is they crave a “cheat meal,” have that meal then feel so guilty afterwards. Why feel guilty? If you work hard all week at your workouts and eating well, why not reward yourself!?! As long as you aren’t eating these “cheat meals” regularly a couple times a week, you’re fine! Pick one night a week and indulge. Or do what I did and have a weekend where you splurge, then get yourself back on track for the next few weeks. One day of bad eating won’t kill you. Neither will one weekend. The weekend may set you back a little further than just one day will (hence me being bloated and a little slower than normal). But like I said, it’s fine if it’s not a regular thing. Life is too short. Have that steak, burger, etc. Just do everything in moderation!

Separation anxiety

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My son is now 10 1/2 months old and I still get separation anxiety when I’m not with him. It was really bad when he was younger and I had to go out of town for a day or two to judge a cheer event. However that’s expected. I just figured by now I would be ok with leaving him for a bit. Maybe it’s a Mom thing. Or even a “first child” thing. I don’t know. But even going to the gym for an hour, halfway into my workout I start missing him and have to text whoever’s watching him to see if he’s ok. Yes I can be a bit of a control freak when it comes to him. I keep him on a tight schedule. He eats at the same time and naps at the same time pretty much every day. He likes his schedules and so do it. But this doesn’t feel like a control thing. It really is a missing him kind of feel. I’ve had people tell me it gets easier as they get older but I don’t know. I don’t know how I’ll ever worry about him less or not wonder if he’s ok all the time. Any other moms feel like this?

Counting Calories

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In order for my body to function; meaning my organs working, body moving, breathing, doing day to day tasks, etc; it uses roughly 1,300 calories of energy a day. This is excluding workout. I eat roughly 1,800-2,000 calories a day. If I have a heavy workout I actually eat more. This is to make sure my body has the energy it needs to burn (fuel itself).

If I consumed only 1,300 calories a day even on workout days, I would be burning more than I was taking in. There are some trainers that encourage this. I think they’re wrong. (Just my personal opinion). When you look at the biomechanics of the body you can actually do yourself harm by not consuming enough energy calories. If your body doesn’t have what it needs to fuel itself, it begins to break down muscle. People automatically assume fat is the first to go. This is wrong! Your body will store the fat as “safety.” Your body needs fat as insulation so it will store the fat to protect itself and breakdown muscle as fuel instead. Muscle is what helps your body burn fat! If you are breaking down muscle, you can’t expect your body to burn fat!

I recently downloaded the app My Fitness Pal at someone’s recommendation. I put in my information and it said I should eat about 1,200 calories a day. My body needs more than that on a non workout day! I’m not trying to become tiny and skinny. I like my size. I like having muscle. This app is clearly not for someone like me. The only way for me to successfully hit a 1,200 calorie goal would be to cut down my protein amount, limit my carbs and up my vegetable amount. The last time I did this (back in 2005) I passed out due to lack of complex carbs. My body needed heavier carbs like brown rice and sweet potato to fuel itself for the amount I was working out.

I have heard people say “don’t worry about calories” or “ calories aren’t important if you’re working out.” That’s not true! Your body needs energy calories to function. Should you focus solely on calories alone? Absolutely not! Eating 120 calories of candy is not equivalent to eating 120 calories of an avocado (about half an avocado). Your body will use the fat and calories from the avocado as energy. The candy is straight sugar and can only be used minimally as energy. The rest gets stored in your body as fat.

Don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely not telling you to count calories every day. I am encouraging people to be aware of what they eat and how much they eat. Get an idea of how many calories you need a day to fuel your body and build your meals around that. You’ll eventually get good enough where you can pick foods and portions that will fuel your body enough without having to “count” those calories. Understand what fuel calories are vs fat calories.

Fuel your body! Don’t starve it. You only get ONE body here on earth.

You have two homes…..

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I heard the best quote the other day. “You have two homes: Earth and your body. Take care of them.” I love this! When you think about it, often times we are careless with both. My biggest pet peeve is when people complain about how they constantly get sick or keep gaining weight. Are you taking care of your body? Are you eating vegetables, fruit, carbs, fat (good fat) and protein? Are you taking a multi vitamin? Are you limiting your alcohol intake and avoiding smoking? Do you workout at least 3 times a week? A lot of times the answers to this question are no. God only gave us one body. Take care of it! Fuel it properly and care for it so it will last!

The same goes with earth. I hate when I see someone throw trash out the window of their car. You couldn’t put it in your cup holder and throw it away when you got home? Was it radioactive and had to be thrown out of your car that minute? I live in Plano and I love how our city has trash cans on almost every corner. When I get in the turn lane to go left I know there will be a trash can I can pull up to and throw things away. Yes it’s something so minor and small but even the little things make a difference.

These are the only two homes we will have in our lifetime. Take care of them!

(Yes that’s me doing a handstand on the edge of a boat in the pic)

Running

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Every morning ryder and I go for a 2-3 mile walk. It’s our way of getting out of the house to get some fresh air while also letting me get a little light cardio in. I’ve had SO many people tell me I need to start running. They tell me how “freeing it is” and how I’ll love it. Let me tell you what’s NOT freeing to someone with a tear in each meniscus, a right side MCL tear and a previously fractured knee cap……RUNNING! Would I like to run? Maybe. I never was a huge fan. I always said I only run if someone is chasing me. Lol

I’m sure you’re wondering why I never got my knees fixed. Well, back when I was younger when the injuries happened, we didn’t exactly have a lot of money. Plus my brother was on his 4th meniscus tear and he needed surgery. I was at the end of my college cheerleading career and he was up for multiple wrestling scholarships coming out of high school so the obvious choice was for him to get his done. I built up enough scar tissue over the years that my knees are fine for every day use. However running isn’t exactly in the cards. Running is painful. My knees hurt for days after just ten minutes of light jogging. It honestly sucks because my husband is a runner and I always thought it would be fun to run together. Some days I get this “high” and think I can do it, and I’ll push through a short jog. But then the pain hits for a few days after and I think….that was stupid. Do I still have hope I’ll be able to jog without pain one day? Yes of course. But it’s a slow process to build that knee strength. Not to mention it’s frustrating having people tell me I need to start running. I need to start running like I need a hole in my head. 😂 It’s too much to explain to them why I don’t just up and run, so I just smile and say “maybe” every time. I’m going to keep trying and slowly pushing myself. But it will definitely take some time. Longer than the norm that’s for sure!

Always remember you know what’s best for your body. Listen to it! If something hurts, stop! I have seen so many people get injured trying to push through actual pain (not soreness or tiredness) to keep up with others. It’s your body not theirs, remember that.